Work, Poopoo peepee and AITA: Fertiliser

Fertiliser

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife found out when I’m super busy with work and can’t be bothered to walk upstairs for a pee, I just pee into a bottle and empty it out the window onto the grass. I get it’s sorta gross but the way she was yelling you’d have think I took a shit on the drive in full view of the neighbours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 353

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Dude, gross!

By juggalo2 - 17/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 464

By alexander - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 718

You deserved it 1 078

Caught short

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 18:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 953

You deserved it 3 396

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 185

Gross and weird

By Porkchop - 14/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 110

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 129

Was it me?

By PhantomShitter - 29/11/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 2 357

Pissed off

By lionhead14 - 20/05/2011 19:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 912

You deserved it 42 587

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 538

You deserved it 1 374

Giga barf

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 06:00

Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 99

idragosani 15

Tuesday 4 June 2024 23:28

You're a moron

UniUni 20

Tuesday 4 June 2024 22:36

No, not "sort of gross", it's disgusting. You're a grown man with a wife and you can't make it upstairs?

Comments

Hangryko 29

Tuesday 4 June 2024 22:20

Oh my God, use the toilet! That is revolting.

UniUni 20

Tuesday 4 June 2024 22:36

No, not "sort of gross", it's disgusting. You're a grown man with a wife and you can't make it upstairs?

idragosani 15

Tuesday 4 June 2024 23:28

You're a moron

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 5 June 2024 0:56

You can't make it one floor? Buddy, I'm super busy with work too, and I have to go up four floors every time I need a piss.

Underscore_foo 4

Wednesday 5 June 2024 1:32

That is so unhinged. Please don’t palm off your lack of hygiene as your wife being “problematic”. Please use the toilet. This is incredibly unattractive and says you can’t take care of yourself.

tiptoppc 19

Wednesday 5 June 2024 2:01

Let me guess, you could be a showrunner on “my 600lbs life.” I bet you have a large fluffy cap and a moomoo for when you go out to see a movie and get turned away after promised a garbage bag of popcorn to leave.