Health: Was it me?

Was it me?

By PhantomShitter - 29/11/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 2 357

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Same thing different taste

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

Can't hold it in anymore

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 183

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 25 967

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 294

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 198

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 12 726

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 6 525

What happens in the woods stays in the woods

By sulfuric_acid - 10/08/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 204

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 7 573

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 30 November 2019 0:49

You need to lay off the sauce, bud.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Friday 29 November 2019 21:05

What kind of man sits when they pee? Wait unless, no it can't be real. Oh dear,,,,

Comments

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Friday 29 November 2019 21:05

What kind of man sits when they pee? Wait unless, no it can't be real. Oh dear,,,,

kfchicken 31

Friday 6 December 2019 2:03

unless *gasp* it's a woman

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 30 November 2019 0:49

You need to lay off the sauce, bud.

manb91gb 15

Saturday 30 November 2019 14:04

How drunk were you??

Sonotsuave 35

Saturday 30 November 2019 19:21

I’m assuming you were drunk, either way wtf

DoctorPALO 14

Monday 2 December 2019 14:54

Uhmm, this is obviously a female. Unless the guy took his pants down and squatted to pee, it was a female. Drunk or not, if you were outside your own place, why couldn't you get in? Did you not notice when you woke up that you needed to wipe your ass?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 4 December 2019 2:34

Hey "Doc", I'm no medical expert, but I've seen enough drunk people to know that the body can do certain things involuntarily when they're wasted. You don't need to squat to shit. If you're relaxed, you can do it standing up, and have it fall out your pants leg without noticing. Until further notice, I'm gonna go with the icon, and read this story as if it happened to a drunk dude. Also, you can lock yourself out of your house if you misplace your keys, and you can do that drunk or sober. My guess is his/her friend managed to get OP inside, but after their mishap, and may have been too drunk/apathetic herself to clean it up.