Christmas, Poopoo peepee and Holidays: Festive spirit

Festive spirit

By crappyeve - 24/12/2024 06:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 798

You deserved it 959

Winter: Snow and Funny News
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When nature calls

By Andrew Williams - 11/12/2020 14:01

Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 358

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 796

You deserved it 2 568

Caught short

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 18:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 954

You deserved it 3 396

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

Mess incoming

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 16:00

Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 169

By her mom raised her - 17/05/2014 17:30 - Mexico

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 832

You deserved it 7 049

Caught in 4K

By deservedly - 19/12/2022 09:27 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 095

You deserved it 17 591

Quick Stop

By poopy pants - 08/04/2013 01:47 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 376

You deserved it 8 736

Can't hold it in anymore

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 183

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 708

You deserved it 3 889

CGPainting 0

Sunday 25 December 2016 21:50

I'm not saying that it would be particularly pleasant, but if I were you, I would just poop inside of a bucket or something, and keep that bucket outside except when you have to poop. It wouldn't be fun, and it would stink, but I'd rather just have momentary self-control, than waste like 45 minutes of my day driving all the way to McDonalds and back, just taking a sh*t. Plus, you would be wasting a lot of gas and wear-and-tear on your car. Not a smart investment. Plus, it would be awkward walking into McDonalds just to poop... Probably even more awkward than my suggestions! And if you get food there, the food there is very bad for you. Worst case scenario, just pop a squat in your backyard and poop and bring some toilet paper. You do know it'll just decompose in a few weeks and turn into soil, right? That's the way nature works. Bacteria and organisms and stuff will just eat the poop. It's fine. Circle of life

cj89898 24

Sunday 25 December 2016 6:55

Well that's a shi... I'll sto... nope that's overrated too. What do I do now?

Comments

moodyreallyrocks 27

Sunday 25 December 2016 6:55

Sucks OP! Best of luck..

Tripartita 44

Sunday 25 December 2016 7:34

You forgot to put asterisks around the first two words. I'd also recommend getting a room for that sort of thing…

cj89898 24

Sunday 25 December 2016 6:55

Well that's a shi... I'll sto... nope that's overrated too. What do I do now?

Cali 54

Sunday 25 December 2016 6:58

One of those guests may have a very guilty conscience tonight.

staffsgtkiba 5

Sunday 25 December 2016 6:58

get a shit bucket

Tripartita 44

Sunday 25 December 2016 6:59

Christ, it must've smelled like a farm. Wait… Christ… farm—that's it! OP, open your house to the public so they can pay for an authentic manger experience on Christmas Eve!