Kids, Relatable and Cute: First amendment issue

First amendment issue

By God please make it stop - 03/08/2023 22:00

Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 270

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 16 963

Let him have his innocence

By sydcaller618 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Richmond

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 360

You deserved it 2 652

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 479

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 381

You deserved it 4 861

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 907

You deserved it 6 123

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 612

By squishy - 11/02/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 470

You deserved it 25 609

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 6 062

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 10 379

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 3 116

poopface82 19

Thursday 3 August 2023 22:53

At least it’s better than “shit.”

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 August 2023 23:03

Take him to Kalamazoo. He will soon think it's not so ******' funny!

Comments

poopface82 19

Thursday 3 August 2023 22:53

At least it’s better than “shit.”

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 3 August 2023 23:03

Take him to Kalamazoo. He will soon think it's not so ******' funny!

cuz803 44

Thursday 3 August 2023 23:11

Gotta love being a parent, right?!?!?! 🤢🤢

Bogrbon 27

Friday 4 August 2023 9:58

I’m in my 30’s. I mean, timing is the key to comedy, and a 4-yr old needs to learn that, but random words can definitely be funny. Or am I just really immature? Fucitol. Shitake Mushrooms. Bumfuzzle. Cattywumpus.