Miscellaneous: Freak in the streets…

Freak in the streets…

By grocerystalker - 16/11/2012 05:58 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 518

You deserved it 3 432

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By rink.attendant.6 - 21/06/2012 15:40 - Canada - Dryden

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 133

You deserved it 3 605

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 427

You deserved it 10 271

Smooth

By godzilllla - 08/08/2015 01:59 - United States - Bothell

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 380

You deserved it 11 817

By Dv0829 - 21/10/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 241

You deserved it 4 829

We meet again

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 574

Stalker or coincidence?

By Jenny - 08/05/2020 05:00

Today, I went grocery shopping at the store near my house. Upon checking out, I look up to see that my cashier is none other than the woman I went on a date with a few months ago, and whose calls and texts I ignored after she began to obsess over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 718

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 946

You deserved it 7 755

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 10 786

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 6 823

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

accioshannon 17

Friday 16 November 2012 16:00

Well, she doesn't seem boring!

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Friday 16 November 2012 16:01

Just a little grocery shopping, nothing to get all worked out about. I love the smell of cardboard and new books, I'll give em a whiff or two while I shop. Nothing wrong with that.

Comments

ant1078 7

Friday 16 November 2012 16:04

this isn't the kind of freaky you're supposed to be searching for op...

oneshot101 0

Friday 16 November 2012 16:04

She is perfect!

Aug1508 9

Friday 16 November 2012 16:06

Well you shouldn't be stalking her!!

amandajlucas2015 2

Friday 16 November 2012 17:30

Exactly how long were u following her around watching her before u decided to say hi.. Because the dog food and kitchen appliances are not on the same isle.. So maybe ur the creepy one

xNephilim 18

Friday 16 November 2012 18:30

Maybe, just maybe, OP didn't follow her but just happened to stumble across her being freaky twice? I know I see people usually at least twice at the grocery store, even if it's Walmart.

joethebiden 8

Friday 16 November 2012 16:06

Wild one. Put a ring on it. You (possibly) won't regret it.

perdix 29

Friday 16 November 2012 16:08

Get "Fifty Shades of Grey" and consider it her Owner's Manual. If you can convince her you are also into leather and knives, you can have a hot girlfriend, but the kind you don't bring home to Mother. . . ;) (weeenk!)

AussieChild 22

Friday 16 November 2012 16:11

This is just a normal shopping day in Australia, sheeshhh.

olpally 32

Friday 16 November 2012 16:12

If she knew you were stalking her, props to her getting you off her back, creeper... If not, well, she's just a strange person then... Lol.

Gordon12345 7

Friday 16 November 2012 16:51

I don't think he was stalking her, he probably just noticed her there and wanted a chance to talk to her.

olpally 32

Friday 16 November 2012 17:03

That's why I listed both suggestions... His username is a bit revealing though. "Grocerystalker" lol. I don't doubt he was trying to talk to her, but the username suggests otherwise.

Gordon12345 7

Friday 16 November 2012 19:46

I never noticed his name, thanks! It's just I noticed many people use the word "stalker" as a euphemism for "person who likes me but I don't like back".