Health: Fresh and not Fit - FML

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 817

You deserved it 54 645

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 976

You deserved it 26 214

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

By What. - 14/08/2013 00:08 - United States - Pawtucket

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 072

You deserved it 3 569

By jobless - 16/05/2012 07:36 - United States - Groton

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 067

You deserved it 2 403

Mowed down

By ThatsNotGrass - 10/08/2014 01:30 - Canada

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 299

You deserved it 22 516

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 191

By Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 066

You deserved it 18 036

Yesterday's news

By rofld - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 014

You deserved it 28 336

The art, the artist

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 83 051

By tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 9 455

Next

Top comments

kut19 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:37

how fat are you?

Keffin 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:42

"gotta work out my muscles with my steering wheel" -pants-

Comments

Epickitty58 29

Sunday 29 June 2014 7:09

Only in America, kids.

imabong 7

Sunday 29 June 2014 17:47

If you were cutting grass it could be an allergic reaction. Im in ok shape, but if i now ny lawn for 5 minutes ill ve out of breath. Go to allergist and get that checked out.

KestrelGirl 15

Thursday 14 August 2014 8:40

You know what? Stop flaming about OP's weight, it could be allergies!

theweasel 16

Saturday 14 March 2015 20:46

God I feel sorry for that lawnmower

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The Top

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with another woman in our couch. When I gave him the mother of all verbal lashings, he asked me, “Oh, you didn’t get my text?” The fucker actually announced he wanted a divorce over text message. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 195

Today, after receiving a negative herpes test four months ago, my doctor called me and told me it was a false negative and I’ve been living with herpes for four months. I then had to tell everyone I’ve slept with about it, and worst of all my new boyfriend broke up with me. All in one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 588

The Top

Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 285

You deserved it 68 077

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 635

Today, I’ve been abroad for three years, but flew home to visit. My parents had a surprise: my baby sister, who they kept secret from me so they could film my reaction. She’s so cute but they’re upset that I’m angry at them. Sorry, but sane people don’t keep a baby a fucking secret from its sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 193

Today, I'm in love with my friend, and he's in love with me. The problem? We're both married to other people. We're not acting on it and we're going to do the right thing, which is letting it go, but my heart is broken in a million pieces right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 612

Today, after a long night of cramming for an extensive Anatomy final (detailed diagrams included), I check the senior final schedule to find that Anatomy is not till tomorrow, but I take Calculus in 10 minutes. This is followed by an e-mail from my teacher saying I can exempt Anatomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 16 337

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 557

You deserved it 47 992