Intimacy: Frustrated

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Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 825

You deserved it 12 097

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Same thing different taste

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 843

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 706

You deserved it 68 974

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 650

You deserved it 4 408

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 510

You deserved it 238

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 737

You deserved it 2 364

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 857

You deserved it 2 435

Post-it time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 18:00

Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 200

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 2 731

By idontwanttoknow - 16/06/2013 11:37 - United States

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 139

You deserved it 6 924

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 995

You deserved it 2 967

FunWriter20 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:15

Lol, I hope you helped her out.

MCart_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:38

Seriously, why be the only one not getting off? Sleep is for the weak.

Comments

okieraider71 4

Monday 17 January 2011 11:35

Your MAN-CARD has been revoked. Please place the card, and your tiny balls, in the enclosed envelope and mail it in to the main office.

EmilyCecile 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:44

purplemonster89, after all of that that, all u got was flick the bean?...even thoguh it is kinda funny

EmilyCecile 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:46

oh my gosh i freaking love the name piano tree :)

sammy259 3

Wednesday 2 March 2011 4:41

y the **** did u not have sex

sb360 10

Tuesday 8 March 2011 8:09

you should've tapped that

mendes1987 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 17:52

hahahahahahahahaha dude....

dakins 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 9:56

I'm guessing not

atthegates 0

Friday 13 May 2011 14:26

should have plowed her uncontrollably

sprinkleitup 3

Tuesday 21 June 2011 6:32

that's a gooder

FinalBau55 4

Monday 8 August 2011 18:29

More like **** her life, that she doesn't have boyfriend that can please her horny self!

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The Top

Today, I went into a cafe only to be greeted by a young boy who pulled down my leggings in line. Everyone got a look at my pink Hello Kitty panties with white frilly trimming before scrambling to pick them up. In the process, I banged my head on the counter, and fell on the floor, unconscious, pants still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 88

Today, my father retired and made sure to buy both my younger sisters and their partners near new cars. Despite only one having a licence. Then bought the bare minimal definition of a "functioning" car for me, as compensation for paying off the family car on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I got a letter from the IRS informing me that I owed a debt of $80 dollars from 4 years ago, and that it has now grown to over $800 dollars, and it's due this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 266

Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lended her my umbrella and helped her across. When we got to the other side, she said, "Thank you Toby," and then refused to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 041

You deserved it 2 814

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. I went to pull the cord to request a stop when the driver slammed on the breaks to avoid running a red light, causing me to get thrown out of my seat and slide down the aisle and hit my head on a pole by the front of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 229

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 561

You deserved it 2 221

Today, I walked outside and was so happy about the return of smell of campfires and summer time. I now realize that the campfire smell was a house burning down in my neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 194

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 240

You deserved it 2 352