Love: Get out!

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 157

You deserved it 68 100

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 944

You deserved it 7 034

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 533

You deserved it 5 521

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 264

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 200

You deserved it 6 593

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 2 947

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 956

You deserved it 5 323

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 393

You deserved it 4 322

Chris Hansen time

By lloydLO - 24/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 13 623

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 716

You deserved it 730

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

you expect to much...

irishfever 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?

Comments

dontpanic_fml 32

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:17

...how the EFF do u expect for ppl to think this is an FYL?!

soadgroupie 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:17

"maybe you should have kept your month shut" lmfao wtf is that shit?

ghoulie 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:18

C'mon people. Asking someone to come upstairs after a date means sex is pretty much a given. True, he shouldn't have said anything about not getting it, but still...can't blame him for thinking that. I would have, too.

dacman48 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:18

dumbass

abyssal_angel 6

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:18

"Hot Coffee" only means sex in GTA, OP. No more video games for you. Stop being a perv. YDI.

abyssal_angel 6

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:27

Dangit. FML glitched on me. I double-posted because the first one wasn't showing up. Disregard. iPhone fail.

KurouTenshi 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:19

sucks to be you, OP when my boyfriend says "We're gonna have sex" that means I get laid. when he says "we're going to get lunch" that means I get food stuffs. and when he says "we're gonna go to Wal-Mart" my ass is getting stoned and we're gonna jam to Lady Gaga. I'm sorry that you can't understand what people mean when they say something clear as day.

whatshernuts 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:13

The thing about a lot of chicks, though, is that they're very passive-aggressive. Rarely will a chick say exactly what she means.. she'll always ho-hum and beat around the bush, drop hints, and get mad at you for not putting the puzzle together. When she finally says directly "I'm mad at you for x" or "I wanna do this," it's in a nagging manner because she's agitated because she "had to drop hints at you in the first place" whereas you should just magically be able to read her mind, and you didn't manage to. Well, I'm generalizing again, because you don't seem like that and I'm a girl and I'm not like that, and there's plenty more who aren't like that too. I have dated some chicks like this though, and let me tell you it's no cakewalk.

flcl2 2

Thursday 11 March 2010 6:42

whatshernuts, is there some way I can clone more of you, and have your clones replace all the socialized-prude girls on this site? they will all be sent to humane, rose scented containment camps, of course, where they can run free in the meadows and have oh-so-lovely picnics with their equally idealized boyfriends who start every sentence with "yes, my dearest" and end with "by the way, did I tell you how much I love and appreciate you, today?"

whatshernuts 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 13:28

Only half a ******, I've got a boyfran now. And no, the girls I dated weren't wannabe tarts as much they were a little mentally unhinged. I never said it was a good idea I dated them! And lmao cloning me would be a bad idea because first of all, I'm a jackass, and second of all, you'd replace all the pretty girls with me and I'd be upset because I'd have no more eye candy.