Love: Get out!

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 157

You deserved it 68 100

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 945

You deserved it 7 034

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 533

You deserved it 5 521

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 264

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 200

You deserved it 6 593

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 2 947

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 956

You deserved it 5 323

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 393

You deserved it 4 322

Chris Hansen time

By lloydLO - 24/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 13 623

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 716

You deserved it 730

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

you expect to much...

irishfever 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?

Comments

lambiee 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

lmao this has happend to me before but the other way around. i invited my neighbor/good friend over because i had "frozen banana split pop tarts" and he came over anxiously and told all of his friends we were gonna bang, but we had pop tarts.

DGross 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:50

lol... epic disappointment on his part I bet... oh well, if that's all he cared about it probably wasn't to big of a loss for you

ChuckRebel 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:54

how intimate could u get with a frozen banana anyways? u shoulda expected that

ChuckRebel 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:59

HE shoulda expected that, muh bad

corme_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:09

I can see taking 'hot coffee and dessert' as sex... but how in the world did your friend think 'frozen banana split pop tarts' = banging? Must be some new position I'm not aware of :P

Tyrex26 6

Friday 9 September 2016 15:15

All I'm hearing was that your neighbour got free pop tarts.

spikey818 9

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

sometimes u have to take things literal

FMLrockzdude 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

eeeewwwwyy I was like what? and I was all like eeeewwwwwwyyy nasty nasty nasty cuz now my brain is scard for life wid dat image

Zigma_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

I didn't even know that was a sexual innuendo.

corme_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:13

"You want to come in for some 'coffee'?" "Want to go back to my place for some 'dessert'?" Much classier then saying "You want to come in for sex?"

Brittanysway420 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

iwadasn 32

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:33

Way to promote date rape...

elegantlywasted1 3

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:44

ha, no doubt "but really, if you'd just have let me touch her more she would've consented for sure!!"

do20ss 4

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:44

o man that was funny^

PandasRtheShit 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:57

OP never said that they had sex before

Quest_ 13

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:58

I actually think #17 should be deleted, for the reason 67 stated. It really creeps me out how you could even think it is acceptable to broadcast that way of thinking to a forum full of thirteen year old boys.

Sun_Kissed18 25

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:49

"Get a new girlfriend"? Because she actually wanted to do something over than screw her boyfriend?? Oh sorry for her wanting an actual relationship. And no, touching does not always mean that you'll get sex. If your not in the mood, your not in the mood. And agreed with everyone above me, that's like promoting rapists...

flcl2 2

Thursday 11 March 2010 6:19

god Brittneysway420, thank you for being the only honest girl on here. I understand that in 'girl society,' the worst thing to be labeled as is a ****. a girl who admits enjoying sex? what's that? oh noes, not me! I'm pure like fresh snow! "DO YOU LOVE ME NOW DADDY!? DO YOU RESPECT ME MORE NOW!?" puh-lease. don't be naive. cut the bull.

corme_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 17:22

Nice to see an honest woman on here #17. Yes the guy was a douche bag for straight out saying he expected sex and pretty much turning down her nice gesture of coffee and dessert. A good guy would have enjoyed the move and waited for her to be ready another night. A suave boyfriend would have enjoyed the coffee and dessert and used it as a way to start up a romantic night. (kind of like you suggested...) I'm guessing the OP has never had sex with his GF... so was excited when she suggested going back to her place for 'dessert.' That or he's an idiot and referring to a first date girl as his GF.