Embarrassing, Dogs, Contraception and Intimacy: Gettin' some

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 507

You deserved it 46 408

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 607

You deserved it 2 812

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 217

You deserved it 26 155

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 14 852

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 40 482

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 464

You deserved it 8 797

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 131

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 450

You deserved it 42 554

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 44 718

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 912

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 793

You deserved it 2 545

mandi4murphy 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:05

I'm pretty sure you should have seen that before you left the house hun. gross

juliahockey 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:04

that's disgusting. YDI definitley.

Comments

Oreo_Cookie813 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:42

I think OP needs to eat some oreos with that left over milk... just sayin'

endora914 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:45

I am just wondering why u throw ur used condoms on the floor so classless ..

AMAZINashleigh 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:47

That's unsanitary.

perdix 29

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:48

Tell them it was a static electricity experiment with a popped balloon. Science!

wisericky 12

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:49

that might worse then toliet paper stick to you foot, but im not sure.

porkchops878 11

Sunday 1 May 2011 21:44

what the hell?!

lalalalalalalala_fml 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 22:15

Lol, it is.

Predental 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:51

aw man what a nasty sight!

mk58 31

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:06

Ugh, that is just disgusting. Learn to clean up after yourselves!

619warrior281 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:07

#42, I bet that sounded a lot more clever/funny in your head.

CaptainPickles72 18

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:09

At least the contents of the condom didn't leak out on said shirt.

Bassmasterclassi 2

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:56

why do you think it was sticking to her shirt?

CaptainPickles72 18

Monday 2 May 2011 2:59

55- Magic! :D

pig20 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:18

stupid

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Friends Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Relatable Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise

The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 317

The Top

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 402

You deserved it 685

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 154

You deserved it 2 932

Today, after spending the night with my girlfriend for the first time, I discovered why she would always want to rush home after dinner dates. Her stomach gurgles so loudly after eating, I can hear it in the next room over, with the TV on. This apparently happens no matter what she eats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 143

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 216

You deserved it 3 002

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 346

You deserved it 35 656

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 594

You deserved it 3 570

Gettin' some

Same thing different taste

Rushed

The Three Bears Conundrum

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