Embarrassing, Dogs, Contraception and Intimacy: Gettin' some

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 506

You deserved it 46 406

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 598

You deserved it 2 811

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 26 149

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 906

You deserved it 14 852

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 40 478

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 462

You deserved it 8 792

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 552

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 44 708

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 911

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 791

You deserved it 2 545

mandi4murphy 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:05

I'm pretty sure you should have seen that before you left the house hun. gross

juliahockey 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:04

that's disgusting. YDI definitley.

Comments

Oreo_Cookie813 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:42

I think OP needs to eat some oreos with that left over milk... just sayin'

endora914 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:45

I am just wondering why u throw ur used condoms on the floor so classless ..

AMAZINashleigh 6

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:47

That's unsanitary.

perdix 29

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:48

Tell them it was a static electricity experiment with a popped balloon. Science!

wisericky 12

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:49

that might worse then toliet paper stick to you foot, but im not sure.

porkchops878 11

Sunday 1 May 2011 21:44

what the hell?!

lalalalalalalala_fml 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 22:15

Lol, it is.

Predental 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:51

aw man what a nasty sight!

mk58 31

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:06

Ugh, that is just disgusting. Learn to clean up after yourselves!

619warrior281 5

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:07

#42, I bet that sounded a lot more clever/funny in your head.

CaptainPickles72 18

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:09

At least the contents of the condom didn't leak out on said shirt.

Bassmasterclassi 2

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:56

why do you think it was sticking to her shirt?

CaptainPickles72 18

Monday 2 May 2011 2:59

55- Magic! :D

pig20 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:18

stupid

Keywords

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Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

The Top

Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 419

You deserved it 1 071

Today, while I was walking along the sidewalk, someone passed by and said, "Tuck that nose in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 160

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 675

You deserved it 41 075

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 791

You deserved it 38 303

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 048

You deserved it 10 688

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 641

You deserved it 4 635

Gettin' some

Same thing different taste

Rushed

The Three Bears Conundrum

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