Accident, Morning and Wake up: Good morning

Good morning

By Elliot - 22/07/2010 15:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 337

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Same thing different taste

By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 15 642

Good morning!

By 3lavyaa - 07/10/2009 12:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turns out I have wood rot, and my entire window fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 091

You deserved it 4 786

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 190

By but why - 21/08/2018 23:30

Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 547

You deserved it 376

Thrashed

By Ringo McDingo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 542

You deserved it 2 259

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 018

You deserved it 9 310

Walnut head

By Anonymous - 16/03/2017 02:00

Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 781

You deserved it 547

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 901

You deserved it 11 477

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 313

By dammit - 01/02/2012 08:22 - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 2 412

MrCalves 1

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:19

sounds like a massive clusterf*ck

OwNowBrownCow 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:21

Should have had a V8 instead.

Comments

OwNowBrownCow 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:21

Should have had a V8 instead.

ladykat 0

Friday 23 July 2010 1:17

that^

littlexlion 4

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:22

NOT THE PEPSI!!! ...then again, I am a coke person...

fisheatsbear 6

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:47

Pepsi!? coke!??!!1 your all dumb, Dr pepper is obviously the only drink for anyone that's sane

fisheatsbear 6

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:56

no Dr pepper does. but cokes a close second

Shookitup 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:58

dr. pepper is the ishh!! ^.^

illmatic2 16

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:58

Gatorade and naked juice. Pop is yucky.

sparklestar69 1

Thursday 22 July 2010 20:27

naww mountain dew

5t3ff1k4h 44

Thursday 22 July 2010 20:29

Never. Cream Soda beats all.

CrosbyBlows 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 20:45

Why drink pop? I'd prefer a beer.

sourgirl101 28

Friday 23 July 2010 0:05

I'm a vodka girl but if I drink beer, I love me some Landshark! yummy

ChrissyRawr 0

Friday 23 July 2010 1:35

*sniff sniff snort* ......... 57 is correct Where are all the damn straws?!?!?!

TwoStrikeBadAss 0

Friday 23 July 2010 11:19

13 that picture is wierdingly arrousing me... for some reason

TwoStrikeBadAss 0

Friday 23 July 2010 11:21

36 Im gonna have to say Dr Pepper too but it doesn't taste as good as it used to though so Coke is the runner up

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Friday 23 July 2010 23:59

Newcastle FTW. Real women drink REAL beer, not American mass-brewed bottled piss. Microbrews like Flying Dog Doggy Style don't count, of course.

Virus963 5

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:22

sounds like your blinds kicked your ass

DaemonSadi 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:24

YDI for being Northern xP jk hope you're okay!

Trupe 3

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:24

If I spilled a can of pepsi I'd be pissed too

Mack7273 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:25

haha

lovelikewoe 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:25

that suuuuucks, lol.

exiie 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:27

Lol, awe I feel bad for OP

MrHankey0123 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:28

20th

copycat148 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:29

fail

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The Top

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

Today, I had my third threesome with my fiancée and our friend. We are moving in together and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her lips against mine, or how she feels when we fuck. I wish I had met her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 928

The Top

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 82

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead says "Just kidding, its really cheap." and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 837

You deserved it 5 106

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 894

You deserved it 14 192

Today, it's common knowledge that Lana Del Rey is a no-talent hack. Yet, she has more daily Spotify streams than Ed Sheeran, Adele, Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, Bon Jovi, Radiohead, AC/DC, Robbie Williams, ABBA, Céline Dion, the Backstreet Boys, and the Beatles. Music is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 896

Today, I found out the time I'd requested off for a trip in 2 months, that my boss said that I could go on, wasn't fully processed, just in case he decided I couldn't go. He told me the second part after I'd bought no refund tickets for shows for both me and my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 160

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me with my friend's 18-year-old sister, took her on the vacation we planned, and will be starting with my company next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 671

You deserved it 231

Same thing different taste

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