Accident, Morning and Wake up: Good morning

Good morning

By Elliot - 22/07/2010 15:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 151

You deserved it 4 333

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Same thing different taste

By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 935

You deserved it 15 637

Good morning!

By 3lavyaa - 07/10/2009 12:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turns out I have wood rot, and my entire window fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 084

You deserved it 4 782

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 186

By but why - 21/08/2018 23:30

Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 545

You deserved it 375

By Ringo McDingo - 26/03/2012 04:31 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 233

You deserved it 2 200

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 015

You deserved it 9 308

Walnut head

By Anonymous - 16/03/2017 02:00

Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 778

You deserved it 547

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 899

You deserved it 11 471

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 308

By dammit - 01/02/2012 08:22 - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 342

You deserved it 2 411

MrCalves 1

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:19

sounds like a massive clusterf*ck

OwNowBrownCow 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 19:21

Should have had a V8 instead.

Comments

Cassie17_fml 0

Friday 23 July 2010 0:23

Dr. Pepper's where it's at. Mountain Dew just tastes cheap

Cassie17_fml 0

Friday 23 July 2010 0:27

@63 Your cute :) DP tho

skyttlz 32

Friday 23 July 2010 0:36

this made me laugh

ucanhascheezburg 0

Friday 23 July 2010 0:43

Mountain poo! I mean dew

oxoashleeoxo 6

Friday 23 July 2010 0:46

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse ... (x

esueh 0

Friday 23 July 2010 1:00

awww sweetie today was not ur day.

Ventus_fml 0

Friday 23 July 2010 1:54

Ah. The Official FML Rube Goldberg Machine has struck again. I do hope you had insurance on your wall.

mastergrifin 0

Friday 23 July 2010 2:44

hey u should call ur self lucky the pepsi dint spill over the papers. lucky u btw nabo4u She was lifting up the blinds.

mastergrifin 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:08

she was lifting UP the blinds.

superashbash 4

Friday 23 July 2010 3:24

you kinda look like Justin Bieber :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 130

Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 235

The Top

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 13 911

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 333

You deserved it 429

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 657

You deserved it 196

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply? "I gotta work that day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 352

You deserved it 3 709

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I'd just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said, "You don't have to lie, some people just aren't cut out for college. There's no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 839

You deserved it 2 954

Today, my father was helping me move into college. When we arrived, the students helping people move in mistook me for one of the parents. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 152