Weird, Roommate, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Got away with it, surely?

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 768

You deserved it 2 628

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 846

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 314

You deserved it 7 813

My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 510

By crystalwho - 20/01/2009 21:06 - United States

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 24 484

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 14:35 - France - Melesse

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 3 814

Bon appétit, I guess

By Jenn86 - 18/08/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I tried my hand at baking homemade individual apple tarts. While taking them out of the oven, I dropped the entire tray on the floor. My dog acted like it was Christmas in August and scarfed at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 154

It's the thought that counts

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I left my MacBook Pro on the kitchen counter, so my mother later ran it through the dishwasher, thinking it was a “lovely apple chopping board”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 309

By kate - 29/04/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 795

You deserved it 8 570

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 755

You deserved it 7 197

JustHereToSayYDI 11

Thursday 2 June 2016 17:47

As someone who is prone to falling, bumping into things, forgetting to open my mouth when I'm drying to drink and other embarrassing things, I have some advice. Just be the first to laugh at yourself. Be self deprecating and people will not make fun of you! A friend actually told me how well I handled those kind of things recently. So really trust me when I say you don't have to pretend nothing happened. Laugh and everything will be fine!