Friends, Drunk, Annoying and Miscellaneous: Great seeing you again

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Great seeing you again

By Kristin - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 994

You deserved it 3 972

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Same thing different taste

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 145

You deserved it 2 682

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 004

You deserved it 2 366

Party animal

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 02:04

Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 435

You deserved it 6 094

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 135

You deserved it 47 001

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 755

You deserved it 5 411

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 181

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 833

You deserved it 2 842

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 67

By philip708 - 27/08/2015 06:46 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 1 827

takeapieandrun 9

Monday 3 January 2011 9:07

At least he pooped in the trashcan...

Argento1301 0

Monday 3 January 2011 9:07

sounds like a fun guy

Comments

gumzy 6

Monday 3 January 2011 10:10

THATS ******* GREAT !!!!!!

alexvegaboy 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:23

ahhh this sound too funny to be true and im single ;)

talb1 7

Monday 3 January 2011 10:52

No one cares. :)

15thPrestige 0

Monday 3 January 2011 11:10

Haha, Penis.

citybiotch 0

Monday 3 January 2011 14:04

I would hope your single.... u r like what?? 12???

alexvegaboy 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:23

thats cuz ur gay

Crimsonhead 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:31

You were far too accommodating. You should've left him outside....and called the cops, asking them to remove the drunk bum from your property. What sort of disrespectful arsehat shows up at someone's home, in such a condition.