Embarrassing, Pranks, Periods and Health: Great, thanks, I hate you

Great, thanks, I hate you

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 18:09 - Greece

Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 4 694

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Same thing different taste

By Fatnlonely - 20/08/2019 12:00

Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 467

By imbx - 13/04/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 711

You deserved it 20 265

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 07:07 - Canada - London

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 884

You deserved it 5 054

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 225

By nopleasestopmother - 02/05/2014 23:03 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 496

You deserved it 3 673

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 784

You deserved it 2 960

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 640

You deserved it 6 653

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 506

You deserved it 5 137

Zedonging intensifies

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 23:00

Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 113

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 8 September 2010 23:17

Aww. :/ I'm not trying to be mean by saying this, but you should probably take some swimming lessons. It'll help, I promise!

omfgrofl1337 0

Wednesday 8 September 2010 23:15

your sister is a win

Comments

acccccccc 1

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:36

yayy lets threadjack on #2 now! :D jk

rwctkd95 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:36

ok numba 16 bad lil chick.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 9 September 2010 1:42

Toss all your sister's belongings into the pool.

fable_fayebee 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 2:03

now if you're old enough to have a period, you should be old enough to swim. Nuff said

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 9 September 2010 2:18

After she said that you should've jumped in. See how fast the pool clears. hahahahah

pamQueS 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 2:24

yup thats why we love our family

cole86 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 2:56

hahaha ur sis is awesome!!

evfreak_fml 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 3:14

To OP sister: Its called a tampon.

nkor1337 1

Thursday 9 September 2010 3:27

ydi for being to fat to get into a bathing suit

ringoshine 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 3:31

wow FYL, i'd be humiliated P: learn how to swim?

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The Top

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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 53 003

You deserved it 19 795

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I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 158

Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 107

You deserved it 2 829

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I agree, your life sucks 42 547

You deserved it 5 705

Today, I had a flight to Philadelphia, but it got canceled due to bad weather. I booked another, which got delayed. After waiting for almost 12 hours at the airport, I boarded, just to have a super annoying toddler kicking my seat from behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 144

Today, we saw a woman with two out-of-control children. As we walked away, my husband said to me, “Disgusting, I’m glad we’re never having children.” News to me, he'd always said he wanted a kid before we married. An uncomfortable conversation is imminent, damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 217