Greetings

By anonymous409 - 01/12/2020 20:01

Today, I was going out to buy some stuff from the store. As I was leaving, my mom warned me to tie my shoelaces; I told her not to worry about it. As I'm walking down the street, I see my crush walking towards me. As I get closer and say hi, I trip on my shoelaces and face-plant into her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 513

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By clumsy - 07/05/2013 00:45 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 847

You deserved it 54 009

Our cross to bare

By sierra808 - 31/05/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 559

You deserved it 17 551

By CaptainSosuke - 27/01/2009 01:54 - United States

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 875

You deserved it 8 455

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 010

You deserved it 3 670

Sheer class

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 813

You deserved it 38 493

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

By maddie! - 09/02/2011 17:48 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 553

You deserved it 13 340

Keep moving

By Jerem88 - 06/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Nassua

Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 144

By wtf - 16/06/2016 06:02 - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 276

You deserved it 5 909

Thwack

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 14:24 - Philippines - Philippine

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 716

You deserved it 2 811

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 2 December 2020 2:20

There you go ladies! The reason many men are obsessed with boobs is because they can save our lives!

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 1 December 2020 20:03

Playah!!! You got to second base before your first date! Smooth!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 1 December 2020 20:03

Playah!!! You got to second base before your first date! Smooth!

dasin 18

Tuesday 1 December 2020 23:25

obviously planned, why else tell mom not to worry

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 2 December 2020 2:20

There you go ladies! The reason many men are obsessed with boobs is because they can save our lives!

tounces7 27

Wednesday 2 December 2020 2:29

I'd say you deserved it but since a face full of boobs is usually a good thing, I'm not sure one could say you deserved that.

bobsanction 18

Wednesday 2 December 2020 6:16

Task failed successfully.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 96

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 4 733

Today, I came in to what was already going to be a long day at work. All of my coworkers no-showed. With them, it probably would've taken about 5-6 hours to get all my work done and go. It took ten hours. My feet hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 107

Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 087

You deserved it 55 939

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 694

You deserved it 4 836

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 131

You deserved it 3 934

Today, I have severe endometriosis and it's severely damaged my bowels. I was on a bus, and we got stuck in a traffic jam. The bus was delayed by 40 minutes and whilst I was stuck on it, I pooped myself. An old lady gave me a shawl to hide the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 78