Gross and Miscellaneous: Gross!

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 302

You deserved it 4 804

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Same thing different taste

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 085

You deserved it 26 033

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 617

You deserved it 3 994

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 679

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 541

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 6 098

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 133

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 624

You deserved it 9 663

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

Indianboy9321 25

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:39

Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?

Comments

VyronBuckingham 9

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Oh, I've had that before. Don't let it get to you, you knew it was an accident!

Squtchy 11

Thursday 17 July 2014 18:47

F his life XD

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

abombination 13

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:42

Apparently this guy gets green and grumpy.

iLike2Teabag 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:47

Maybe the guy is proud of his farts and felt insulted when OP mistook it for a sneeze after he rubbed a nice one.

iLike2Teabag 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:50

Crap. As interesting as it would be "rub a nice one" in a lineup, I meant ripped*. Damn autocorrect.

AnOriginalName 19

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:32

As interesting as it would be *to rub a nice one, I think you meant, #16/15.

Brandi_Faith 33

Thursday 17 July 2014 16:05

Seriously. The guy could have said "thank you" and passed it off for a sneeze seeing as that's what OP thought it was anyway.

rosheno 4

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:50

Maybe he prefers "When you die, nothing happens."

Jghaugland 6

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:40

#42, You are awesome.

CommanderWoof 10

Friday 18 July 2014 7:27

I assume the man thought the OP was mocking him.

amansingh 8

Saturday 19 July 2014 5:03

The devil.

MartinDJ 26

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

I give you how you actually can confuse a fart with a sneeze like holy Christ that's impressive but you were on your phone so I get how you can mix up things and noises