Gross and Miscellaneous: Gross!

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Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 309

You deserved it 4 807

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Same thing different taste

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 090

You deserved it 26 039

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 625

You deserved it 3 998

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 441

You deserved it 8 590

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 675

You deserved it 2 680

No laugh track required

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 129

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 546

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 509

You deserved it 6 101

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 140

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 375

You deserved it 8 114

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

Indianboy9321 25

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:39

Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?

Comments

VyronBuckingham 9

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Oh, I've had that before. Don't let it get to you, you knew it was an accident!

Squtchy 11

Thursday 17 July 2014 18:47

F his life XD

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

abombination 13

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:42

Apparently this guy gets green and grumpy.

iLike2Teabag 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:47

Maybe the guy is proud of his farts and felt insulted when OP mistook it for a sneeze after he rubbed a nice one.

iLike2Teabag 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:50

Crap. As interesting as it would be "rub a nice one" in a lineup, I meant ripped*. Damn autocorrect.

AnOriginalName 19

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:32

As interesting as it would be *to rub a nice one, I think you meant, #16/15.

Brandi_Faith 33

Thursday 17 July 2014 16:05

Seriously. The guy could have said "thank you" and passed it off for a sneeze seeing as that's what OP thought it was anyway.

rosheno 4

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:50

Maybe he prefers "When you die, nothing happens."

Jghaugland 6

Thursday 17 July 2014 23:40

#42, You are awesome.

CommanderWoof 10

Friday 18 July 2014 7:27

I assume the man thought the OP was mocking him.

amansingh 8

Saturday 19 July 2014 5:03

The devil.

MartinDJ 26

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

I give you how you actually can confuse a fart with a sneeze like holy Christ that's impressive but you were on your phone so I get how you can mix up things and noises