Gross and Miscellaneous: Gross!

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 302

You deserved it 4 804

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 085

You deserved it 26 033

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 617

You deserved it 3 994

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 679

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 541

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 6 098

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 133

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 624

You deserved it 9 663

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

Indianboy9321 25

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:39

Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?

Comments

Ki11erC 18

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:22

How do you confuse the two? His fart must of sounded very odd. And bless you is still religious even if it's a common thing, some people dislike it.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 17 July 2014 17:17

Unless he's Satan, I don't see why he'd be upset by a "Bless you". Most people use it reflexively anyway. Even atheist.

rocker_chick23 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 19:31

#29: I have never met anyone who was offended by "bless you." Hell, my husbands sister in law is Muslim and she is fine with people saying bless you to her and says it when she hears someone sneeze.

pixiebubz 26

Friday 18 July 2014 16:09

*must HAVE

PassiveAggresive 12

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:39

Poor guy, must have had a bad day. Don't let it get to you OP!

juanschwartz 18

Thursday 17 July 2014 13:24

Oh shat!

xoxo_jmc 9

Thursday 17 July 2014 14:29

rude of him to give you nasty look for saying "bless you" .. even if it was a fart and not a sneeze your intension of saying it was nice.. some people are just rude for no reason .

Liiiiiiiiike 15

Thursday 17 July 2014 16:28

Shart?

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 17 July 2014 18:19

Seriously a dirty look? Take the blessing man!

KestrelGirl 15

Thursday 17 July 2014 18:22

Oh my. That must have been quite the shart.

rugener92 11

Thursday 17 July 2014 20:18

How an earth did that sound like a sneeze? 2 anuses or something?

Sweet_Visions 13

Thursday 17 July 2014 22:47

Lol weird FML. Talk about being polite then getting a dirty look? Guess people really aren't nice anymore..

kittyfrozen 19

Thursday 17 July 2014 22:58

this is why people should stop saying 'bless you' when others sneeze. i am one that sneezes many times in a row and it is irritating when some of my friends say bless you every single time