Gross and Miscellaneous: Gross!

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 303

You deserved it 4 805

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Same thing different taste

By coleslaw - 03/02/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 088

You deserved it 26 037

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 620

You deserved it 3 996

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 436

You deserved it 8 585

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 668

You deserved it 2 679

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 542

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 6 099

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 134

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 367

You deserved it 8 113

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 628

You deserved it 9 664

JennaNGood 21

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:37

Who the hell gets angry when you say bless you, even if it was for the wrong bodily function?!

Indianboy9321 25

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:39

Why did he give YOU a dirty look...?

Comments

zandalee 19

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:41

This is brilliant!! You blessed his shart. lol.

cailey1234567890 24

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:42

Lmao Maybe try paying attention a little better? Im sure it was an honest mistake though :P

Ghastly_fml 15

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:42

At least you were polite :D

J215B 33

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:52

It could be that op brought attention to the fact the man farted. The dirty look could have been because the guy was embarrassed.

91hayek 31

Thursday 17 July 2014 9:55

I know you were just being polite but I think this is the best passive aggressive retort to loud public farting I have ever read. I'm going to use this the first chance I get! Thanks OP.

zandalee 19

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:28

Me too!

Grauncho 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:05

Guess the look he gave you wasn't they only thing that was dirty.

miliaras93 17

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:18

LOOOOL thats hilarous

mete_orito 34

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:36

It could have been a wet fart. They are kinda tricky. Sorry OP

dawood_k 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 10:41

What the hell was he doing farting in public. Does he have no respect. If anybody should have been saying anything its him should have been apologizing...filthy idiot.