Love, Birthday and Animals: Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

By sambo99 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 994

You deserved it 3 369

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Same thing different taste

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 411

You deserved it 8 196

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 8 326

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 99

By garfwebba - 03/01/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 6 631

Cat vs. pancakes

By demix_fml - 06/10/2019 02:01

Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 263

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 601

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 650

You deserved it 2 797

It's called caring, OK?

By gan-1991 - 15/06/2020 23:01

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 297

Food for thought

By Heather Scurfield - 17/09/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 225

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 6 878

FFML_314 11

Monday 25 October 2010 23:04

It's obvious that the day of your birth has driven them to the point of sheer misery, you don't know how to take care of your pets, you're sticking your face in places it doesn't belong and your boyfriend is secretly a homosexual. FYL indeed.

004savage 0

Monday 25 October 2010 23:03

atleast things can only get better right?

Comments

mrahhhhh 21

Monday 25 October 2010 23:53

That just sucks. I can't even think of a snarky reply. Well OP, take the initiative and be a complete asshole to your parents. If they get pissed, play the "it's my birthday so I can do what I want, besides you owe me for ruining it by telling me you're divorced RIGHT on my birthday" card. Immature? Yes. But revenge is gratifying at any age. Shit if I was getting divorced I'd be kind and wait for a couple days or even weeks before telling my kids.

sam_08_fml 0

Monday 25 October 2010 23:57

Well YDI for ever being born OP. If you would have never been born this would not have been a problem LOL.

Selena_is_back 7

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:42

way to go.

DevianceIsBliss 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 3:20

Obvious troll is obvious.

Sparx1_1 16

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:01

This stuff was still going to happen.... but ya it sucks that it happened on your birthday. As for the slippers.... be grateful, some guys think allowing you to give them a ******* is a perfect gift. It might not be the greatest gift but it's the thought that counts and at least he was trying.

russell16 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:04

well... happy birthday :)

SeaNDouble 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:29

at least you got slippers lol

hawwwty 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:36

it's my bday too but it doesn't suck fyl

1664beerbelly 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:43

at least you have a boyfriend, and now you'll get double the presents, plush a rash is ok as long as it's not near your crotch area and as long as it goes aways. share your stupidity/knowledge at survivingu. com

maestroluke 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:44

When a cat ***** on your bed, it usually means it's trying to get your attention because of an urgent medical problem. You should take your cat to the vet ASAP.