Have a good one!

By suuuuuupucci - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML
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Top comments

snafu57 1

just found it on utube. never saw anything like this. there's no question about what that bird is doing. utbe has dozens of examples. the bird should be writing this fml. I can see the bird at a 12 step program. "Hi. My name is Polly and I'm a sex addict."

57 2

Comments

waterynuggets 0

So the **** what? Let him do what he wants. At least someone is coming this christmas!

4 1
flgirlwguitar 2

It CAN be a major problem. My quaker parrot was doing it on his cage bars so much that he was breaking off his belly feathers. I have to give him more soft toys to play with (so to speak) now. Glad to see that my bird isn't the only one who's a sex addict!

17 3
AMMYFIST 0

perhaps if this was about your mum confronting YOU about masturbating, then i would understand why it's an FML.. but it's about your bird.. just get him a lady-bird friend, or a man-bird friend if that's what floats his boat. then they can both be happy, and your mum can go find something else weird to fuss over.

18 2
EMR_fml 0

YDI for not capitalizing Christmas, twice.

5 22
pogaf 4

Birds do that... especially males. Try getting him a mirror or something to distract him. My bird spends all his time trying to attract the "bird in the mirror" so that occupies him.

14 3
perdix 29

You'll get better results by searching "choking the chicken."

11 5
SighOfTheWorld 7

HAHA my bird does that all the time with his cage's cover. I let him do it, it's good for him xD! Just make sure the sheets or whatever else he humps are clean so he doesn't get a cloacae infection.

4 2
kmhello313 0

And they said dolphins were the only other animals that have sex for pleasure :)

4 2
Seastone 9

I don't think it's really for pleasure with birds. They just feel compelled to do it, like dogs who hump. They're not exactly enjoying themselves. I'm just glad my girl bird doesn't do that. Eww.

2 5
fxzero 0

WHOA whoa i just saw a video on youtube it got me to say wtf well bird need love too soo get him a female mate

1 1