Have a good one!

By suuuuuupucci - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 188
You deserved it 3 518
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Top comments

snafu57 1

just found it on utube. never saw anything like this. there's no question about what that bird is doing. utbe has dozens of examples. the bird should be writing this fml. I can see the bird at a 12 step program. "Hi. My name is Polly and I'm a sex addict."

57 2

Comments

Good_old_Grim 8

What the **** is a "masturbation problem"? The bird can't cum or smth?

7 16
Reyo 2

It means "The OP's parents don't consider the bird's happiness as something that's important." Let him be, or better yet...buy him a nice, big breasted cockatoo. THEN he'll be having a Merry Christmas.

35 3
toaster468 0

birds can cum, how do they have babies then

1 4
wintamint101 7

how can birds even do that???

7 3
SeaMen 3

anyone else google bird ************

23 2
your_mother 0

You should go give that bird a hand with that. Just think of it as an "early Christmas present"

37 2
flashback.miss 28

2 is made of WIN

7 6
expen_dable 0

When people have to say things like "This." or "you win!" it makes the comment lamer and less funny. thanks for undermining #2, #6.

6 19
dudeitsdanny 9

22 is made of win. What happens when you make something already lame/worthless even lamer?

16 6
Thunderbender 2

You're right # 22, #6 is such a dick, with all that giving props when the guy said something funny, possibly making someone feel good about themselves. What a douchebag.

19 2
w26l32 0

HAHAHAAAA. I just saw 'bird masturbation'. I can't get over this hahaaa.

24 3
flashback.miss 28

OoOOooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREAMING ******!! proof sex is for the birds... lol kinky though this one is too good for lyrics Xp

5 15
kelmo12 0

Ehh?? birds do that? do they? with what? with their beak? shit it sounds hurt. lol

4 30
allmidnighteyes 10

what the ****. at least now we know you like bird ****.

8 4
snafu57 1

just found it on utube. never saw anything like this. there's no question about what that bird is doing. utbe has dozens of examples. the bird should be writing this fml. I can see the bird at a 12 step program. "Hi. My name is Polly and I'm a sex addict."

57 2
monster_tamer 11

That just hand me rolling on the floor laughing.

2 2
SweetestSin 4

Polly wanna pecker?

22 2
Link11206 0

SweetestSin... you have just won the interwebz in my eyes.

3 6
awesomelylame 0

This is normal dude, calm down. Birds do that. They gotta get theirs somehow. But seriously, I have birds, I know someone who owns a bird shop. They have to do it sometimes. It's alright.

12 2