Heavy

By Anonymous - 10/10/2011 08:29 - Reserved

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 586
You deserved it 3 016
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Outsider_77 0

Anyone who weighs his testicles should not be taken seriously.

175 7

Comments

lajaynay 15

So... What is the normal weight..? And what weight would be considered cancerous..? "To the google machine!"

44 4
sasha_kay 4

Well that can't be right haha...8 pound balls :/

11 1
thisisafunnyname 12

Yeah, that can't be right. It should probably be something more like 10 pound balls

11 2
False_Stupidity 41

#62 & #85 If either/both of you gents have 10+ pound testicles I would recommend hospital ASAP.. Your balls would be dragging on the ground and that would chafe...

9 1
MissBunnyWillEat 11

If I were a boy, my dick would be so big I could wear around my neck like a boa.

5 15
tittymagic 0

Is 3-4 tons normal for each?? Or is that cancerous?

0 2
docscientist 9

I strap a gun holster to my inner thigh and holster mine so it doesn't swing around like a pendulum.

7 1
P374RD3D 9

131 what if you trip over it like a shoelace

2 1
BWill9014 4

Sounds like he's referring to Elephantitis... But that's just my guess

6 7
skyeyez9 24

He should weigh them on one of those mini food scales

7 6
False_Stupidity 41

And then NEVER use said scales for food ever again... O.o

5 0
perdix 29

In that case, if your testicles weigh more than 0.00 grams, you've got problems. Not cancer, but problems, nevertheless.

26 8
False_Stupidity 41

#46 No, as in the OP is female, therefore balls of any weight indicates a problem.

2 1
WaSiSimiLang 8

Well... Are Breasts are counted as balls? Since they are round...

1 3
perdix 29

Sorry, you are just making it worse.

2 2
Epikouros 31

This is one of those FML's that call for a WTF button.

28 3
nephilim241 19

OP's flatmate found a novel excuse to be caught weighing/showing off his manhood

9 4
SunriseSurprize 2

How much do your testes weigh?

1 11
Epikouros 31

Tell him this is not a reliable method to weigh your testicles - he should chop them off and weigh them on a kitchen scale.

23 4
loserman67 35

I guarantee you caught him weighing his balls after a jack-off session. He weighed them before and then he weighed them after so he could try and caculate the amount of **** he shot. And no, I have never done this. You missed a golden opportunity, "You'll need a smaller scale, that one weighs in pounds, you need one that weighs in grams."

20 1
icadragoon 11

Why not just weigh the ****? It's less work.

8 1
Ray_of_midnight 22

Or just measure volume and estimate density as equal to that of water at 1ml=1g. probably close enough. Most of a man's ejaculate volume is prostatic fluid anyway and doesn't originate in the testicles or scrotum.

5 1
j_cat187 19

Interesting dose anyone know the density of semen?

0 2