Animals, Cats, Relatable and Cute: Heftychonk

Heftychonk

By Wha happen? - 11/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my cat went from a badass huntress to the tuxedo equivalent of Garfield in just four years. She's only 6. I don't overfeed her and try very hard to keep her active. I have no idea why she got so fat and lazy. I do know that dealing with bugs by myself is something I can't afford to do adequately right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 167

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Smol bean

By Smol Cat - 28/12/2022 12:00

Today, my cat is five years-old and still looks like a very chunky kitten. I'd been worried for the past three or four years that something was wrong with her, because she wasn't growing to a normal size. It turns out that's literally her natural size, and she's perfectly healthy. I was stressing over nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 930

All hunted out

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 245

By shadokis - 12/09/2012 18:31 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 2 553

Spay and neuter, people!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2019 18:00

Today, I took in an old friend’s fat cat for a month until she finds a place to live. Turns out the cat isn’t fat, just pregnant. I found out when I found two of her dead kittens in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 192

I'm not worthy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 18:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 157

Cheat!

By cat lady - 07/01/2016 03:38 - United States - Netcong

Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 963

You deserved it 2 077

Messy

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, my cat has a new hobby: She goes fishing. As in she catches the frogs out of the ornamental pond, then walks into my freshly mopped kitchen with dripping wet, muddy feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 159

Heftychonker

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's cat adores me. I can't sit down without her jumping on my lap and purring. The cat is also overweight, with very sharp claws, and likes to knead on my legs. My legs look like I lost a fight with a thorn bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 110

By Jeanna S. - 23/11/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 414

You deserved it 28 278

By creedonfied - 06/11/2012 20:27 - United States - Billerica

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 994

Dumbum123 19

Friday 12 July 2024 9:48

Someone else is giving her extra food.

poopface82 19

Friday 12 July 2024 16:17

Either she’s sneaking food or she has a medical condition.

Comments

Dumbum123 19

Friday 12 July 2024 9:48

Someone else is giving her extra food.

poopface82 19

Friday 12 July 2024 16:17

Either she’s sneaking food or she has a medical condition.

d j mom 8

Saturday 13 July 2024 15:57

take her to the vet for a checkup

Yudith 24

Saturday 13 July 2024 19:24

Looks like feline menopause. Time to change her food for the diet version. A vet checkup is also a good idea, as well as a cat exercise wheel or cat threadmill.

FluffythePink 21

Monday 15 July 2024 11:08

If she's an outdoor cat then she's eating several extra breakfasts with the neighbours. Get a cheap GPS tracker for her collar and then go talk to whoever she's spending the most time with. Tell them her kidneys are now on the Fritz and non medicated food will make her horribly sick or kill her if she keeps eating it. The majority of people don't want to actually hurt their visitor but won't always listen to a simple "please don't". If she's an indoor cat then you really need a vet check. Thyroid issues with cats are a thing, as are several other conditions. But if she's free roaming then just check how many other houses she's eating at first. She's probably got a regular daily circuit...