Kids: Home improvement

Home improvement

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 100

You deserved it 4 140

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Top comments

nava1210 12

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:13

Now all you gotta do is get white spray paint.

Yarrachel 16

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:14

Spray the rest of it and you'll have a black couch. Black is classy.

Comments

Joui_fml 11

Wednesday 11 July 2012 1:08

Your fault for not keeping something like that out of reach.

doge750 16

Friday 5 June 2015 2:07

Once you go black you never go back

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 21 June 2015 21:54

Why do people buy white furniture? It's an accident waiting to happen.

HadleyTCanine 15

Friday 25 November 2016 23:25

Was he by any chance huffing the paint before this happened? That's the only explanation I can think of...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 181

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 7 105

The Top

Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 285

Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 554

You deserved it 22 049

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 2 699

Today, after months of apartment hunting with my boyfriend, he told me he had found a fantastic place that was really inexpensive. It seemed way too good to be true. It was. He took me to a storage unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 532

You deserved it 641

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 702

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 883

You deserved it 2 558