Love, Health and Relatable: Humblebrag time

Humblebrag time

By Pusillanimous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 696

You deserved it 5 530

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Same thing different taste

By izzy_the_pessimist - 10/09/2018 18:30

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 157

You deserved it 269

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 650

You deserved it 8 435

By ugly - 11/06/2012 12:01 - Australia

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 481

You deserved it 3 584

By mimo - 14/11/2008 04:16 - France

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 484

You deserved it 5 002

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 3 430

Delusional

By fmlifetime - 24/10/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 640

You deserved it 14 910

By justinherass - 28/03/2009 05:43 - Canada

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 898

You deserved it 24 991

By maximus - 20/01/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 31 262

Assface

By bitches. - 15/06/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 472

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 27/08/2019 12:00

Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 264

viral_fml 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 12:15

What's not to get? Read again, her friend called her fat.

lexiBRo 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 14:23

.....or maybe get some nicer friends. If OP is comfortable w/ her body why should she lose weight over one idiot's comments?

Comments

onlycusimbored 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 19:21

u shouldve bich slapd her

isodufff 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 21:55

amen.

kcslgvr 11

Sunday 19 July 2009 22:40

i agree. even if you are fat, that doesn't mean that your friend has to be such a huge bitch. and it doesn't matter if she was trying to tell you to get healthier. she never had to call you fat in public. if my friend ever did that to me i would demand an apology.

Lisasimpsonfan 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:11

I would have told my "friend" 'that yeah my tummy stops shallow guys from flirting with me the same way her personality stops decent guys from flirting with her. Kinda makes us even.'

acranine11 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 20:25

Your friend wins

f_my_life88 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 22:32

She's obviously a self-absorbed bitch

mitch123456789 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 23:20

cut the hell-bitch

Hacksaw 4

Monday 20 July 2009 0:21

Man, her life must be so hard, what with having guys flirt with her all the time and whatnot. I'm surprised she finds time during the day to be a self-absorbed bitch between all the flirtation she must be barraged with on a constant basis.

saailaway 0

Monday 20 July 2009 0:33

wtf kind of gay ass fml is this shit

lilcuti3pi389 0

Monday 20 July 2009 2:32

Soooo.. Why doesn't she want boy to flirt with her? I don't get that.

fulltimepinklady 0

Monday 20 July 2009 5:05

that's the bitchiest thing ever. You shouldve punched her in the stomach back and said I'm glad I don't have it right now too lol just kidding nothing you say or do could be as mean as that