Sex and Intimacy: Hummmmm

Hummmmm

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 16:11 - United States - Spokane

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 119

You deserved it 10 532

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Same thing different taste

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 336

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 307

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 121

You deserved it 5 972

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 651

You deserved it 29 365

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 974

You deserved it 2 038

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 840

You deserved it 4 638

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 5 623

Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 993

You deserved it 624

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 359

You deserved it 5 183

flashback.miss 28

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:33

sweet of you to try something new to please your boyfriend, though.

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 28 August 2013 22:37

Maybe you should try one of those low, deep throaty hums, that should do the job properly and blow his brains away...

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 29 August 2013 2:27

Singing toothbrush == too young to have sex

noir_heart 8

Thursday 29 August 2013 8:18

Bro, you're never too old to have a singing toothbrush.

smokecloud_ 37

Thursday 29 August 2013 2:48

try less of a hum and more of a moan.

rosaaaa_fml 6

Thursday 29 August 2013 3:41

You re not supposed to hum, you're supposed to sing INSIDE YOUR HEAD to keep rhythm.

Chopp8613 1

Thursday 29 August 2013 3:52

Am I the only one who wants their girlfriend to hum the rocky theme song?

BobbieH 19

Thursday 29 August 2013 4:02

Most of the thing you read in women's magazines are awful suggestions thought up by the author to fill space and meet a deadline. You rarely will find anything in those magazines that he will actually like let alone appreciate.

TrinityNevada 11

Thursday 29 August 2013 4:05

If something tickles or strikes you as stupid, you can't help laughing. And he is probably just a blunt person anyway. But you were trying to please him and if it were me, Maybe he needs a ******* break for being insensitive, though

carecow 16

Thursday 29 August 2013 4:15

Sweet attempt, but I'm guessing not only would you sound like a toothbrush, you'd feel like one aswell.

sammieshortcake 15

Thursday 29 August 2013 4:24

Maybe I'm wrong but I think the humming only works when a guy goes down on you. (My husband does that) but I couldn't imagine humming feeling good on a guy. Guys, input?