Alcohol, Drunk and Love: I get around

I get around

By Permafucked - 12/05/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 101

You deserved it 86 209

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Same thing different taste

By lovewedge - 09/03/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 070

You deserved it 23 554

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 8 844

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 17:37 - Germany - Naurath

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 669

You deserved it 6 149

By chase - 25/01/2013 00:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 212

You deserved it 53 258

By Madmanmorton - 16/06/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 147

You deserved it 47 305

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 849

You deserved it 413

By blackntangirl - 18/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 424

You deserved it 14 011

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 765

By TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 649

zanyone 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:08

so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.

MyNameIsAudrey 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:05

I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.

Comments

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 6:14

either #12 is right or this FML is fake beyond belief i don't like people who call out shit being fake, but really? This is just too far fetched. 1 Beer? please Edit: i suppose it could have also been a date rape drug. In which case you have much bigger problems on your hand

crvenazvezda 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 6:27

haha #15 whenever my chemistry professor said "crock" he would proceed to draw a crocodile on the overhead

aback 4

Wednesday 13 May 2009 6:30

Not just a slutty drunk, but a CHEAP slutty drunk! Don't worry, if they know somebody poor and desperate, they'll fix you up.

abbyxroad 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 6:56

I like how #5 and #8 are alright with the fact that they are cheap and slutty. It's not even THAT pathetic about how you can't hold your alcohol, it's pathetic that even though you KNOW you can't, you still proceed to drink and be slutty.

happyvalleygirl 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 7:05

Impossible. You're 15 and trying to get ******. You don't like the taste of beer so you drank one and pretended to be shitfaced. Then you proceeded to be a tease and a poor excuse for a woman. In college you'll be that **** who drinks for the first time and pisses a frat guy's bed. Start posting real FMLs. Or better, don't post again.

MukyDaCookie 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 8:05

One Beer Wonder Guys expect girls to be lightwieghts, we don't want a chick that can take more than us. It makes us feel insecure.

hallucinog3n 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 8:34

so i hear you like them rufies...

poobear 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 8:35

you have the tolerance of a five year old. you should work on that... and dont drink around guys until you build up a tolerance and youre able to have a few without getting naked

Flexin_the_Guacs 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 8:54

You should be known as both, High Five!, practice by drinking with all girls so u wont end up having too many regrets if 1 beer will turn you into a beastly sex machine lol.