Health, ACAB and Cops: I just have one of those faces

I just have one of those faces

By Anonymous - 17/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 854

You deserved it 244

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Same thing different taste

Innocent

By Boyufd - 19/01/2019 12:00

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 5 067

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 073

You deserved it 3 223

No good deed…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 4 281

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 951

You deserved it 2 845

Slammer

By Anonymous - 04/05/2013 01:14 - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 290

You deserved it 3 800

Friendly fire

By Anonymous - 14/11/2022 04:00

Today, I tried to walk past chuds fighting in the street so I could catch my bus, except that when the police were rounding everyone up, I was mistakenly collared as well. To make it worse, some of the chuds claimed I threw the first punch. I just wanted to catch my bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 121

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 139

You deserved it 3 643

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 661

You deserved it 2 968

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 333

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 17 June 2018 15:23

You don't choose Thug Life, Thug Life chooses you.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 17 June 2018 15:21

Don't lose hope yet. I hear Michael Jackson found a way to not look like a criminal. ...Alright, I'll show myself out.

Comments

PenguinPal3017 19

Sunday 17 June 2018 19:41

All you need to do is find this guy and catch him, then people will stop looking for him.

Nick Bornhoft 4

Sunday 17 June 2018 20:04

Josh Peck, is that you?

TheSminty1 17

Sunday 17 June 2018 20:16

Maybe get rid of the swastika on your forehead

quarterboy 7

Sunday 17 June 2018 20:17

Yo, just stop going to that bar.. Damit man

boopingsnoot 24

Sunday 17 June 2018 20:58

You may want to invest in a taser. Or move.

real life problems 26

Sunday 17 June 2018 21:00

Are you a black male between 4'6 and 6'8

Nadine 21

Monday 18 June 2018 12:35

Amen.

Isamermaid 17

Sunday 17 June 2018 22:16

I don’t think it’s your style, it’s probably just your face.

blahblabbity 19

Sunday 17 June 2018 23:49

Josh Nichols???

Davros 12

Monday 18 June 2018 10:57

Stab a few because they look like a rapist on a wanted poster you saw. The rest will leave you alone.

cdaspirit 15

Wednesday 20 June 2018 20:59

Theater thug?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 209

You deserved it 5 147

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 774

Today, I had a throbbing cluster headache. It didn't help matters when an angry customer yelled at me because a dress was "defective." Why was it defective? It didn't fit her. Why didn't it fit her? It was the wrong size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 865

Today, I found out my dad goes to therapy. Confused, I asked him what was going on. He said, "You" without any hesitation. I don't know if he's joking or not. If he is, I don't find that very funny. If he's not, I don't even know what I've done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 161

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 261

You deserved it 34 902

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 463

You deserved it 3 938

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 284

You deserved it 1 129