Sex, Inappropriate and Kids: Inappropriate, honey

Inappropriate, honey

By Jessica - 15/05/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 47 702

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Same thing different taste

In flagrante delicto

By Matasha - 19/04/2021 23:00

Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that it’s been 2 hours and my daughter won’t stop bawling, or the fact that my husband threw the biggest fit, because I “had to come home too early.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 370

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 932

You deserved it 6 212

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 7 099

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 697

You deserved it 538

By wtf bro - 20/05/2015 08:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 3 636

Honk honk

By piemasterzim - 22/11/2012 01:20 - Canada

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3 year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 056

You deserved it 32 007

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 033

You deserved it 7 526

By abercrombieef - 27/08/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 797

You deserved it 3 969

Coming!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 569

By Fido - 06/06/2016 11:58 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 487

You deserved it 1 545

EmbalmingTheatre 0

Friday 15 May 2009 10:23

O my god, **** your life indeed, how are you going to explain that to your guests. It's kind of funny, though *giggles*

24788 6

Friday 15 May 2009 10:33

What the ****? **** your life? What about your childs life who had to witness that. She's probably to young to realize what it really was, but man I'd have to cut out my eyes if that happened to me.

Comments

rwarlol 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 0:13

when she turns 18 call me.

miranda_panda 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 0:29

#68, that is a brilliant idea. #93, if you clicked both, it'd have the same effect if you clicked neither one. And OP, all I can say is, thank the lord she wasn't older. LOL!

space_game 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 0:46

Well hey, look at it this way: The first time I read it I thought it said "I walked in on my six year old daughter and my husband having sex." So there's that.

JRSpaniel 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 1:27

@7 Why don't you have a seat right over there...

brkn_hearted 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 1:58

#22, i doubt you'd be traumatized at that young of an age, chances are you wouldn't know what the **** was going on and you were just merely imitating actions, but as far as the OP... LOCK YOUR DAMN DOOR! how hard is it to do?

PrettyVal 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 13:33

@#4 - uhm...who grounds a 6 year old for that? They need to lock their door. A 6 year old is not responsible for what happened. She was looking for her parents. At the OP, lock your doors during sex and possibly don't do it when your daughter is up and roaming? And as for the rest, have a stern talk with her and if she doesn't stop, punish her. Take something she loves away for a day or two. Tell her you will first and then if she keeps going actually follow through and do it. Locking a child in their room is not appropriate. Times out are fine, but LOCKING the door...no. That was to everyone else who said that not you. It's sad that I am 20 and have no kids and know how to handle them better than most anyone else commenting here.

PrettyVal 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 13:36

On another note, at #18 - okay WOW a bit overboard much? I am huge on grammar but really do you have to get that jerkish about it? Everyone makes grammatical mistakes. Deal.

sorakirei 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 13:42

How often must it be said? Lock your door! If you don't have a lock use a chair.

kksoccer22 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 15:27

wow lock u r door or send her to a friends house! i feel bad for the little girl i would b scared for life but yhea fyl i think u will have ot have alittle talk with her asap!!