Inappropriate, Cars and Intimacy: Inappropriate - FML

Inappropriate

By aninnocentonlooker - 04/12/2011 05:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 509

You deserved it 3 910

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 427

You deserved it 6 089

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 035

You deserved it 9 629

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 849

You deserved it 413

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 585

You deserved it 3 860

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 9 137

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 858

You deserved it 4 613

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 382

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 24 005

TMI

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 23:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 883

You deserved it 3 031

Next

Top comments

aFreedom127 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:49

Nothing beats a good BJ.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:59

Did you keep both hands on the wheel?

Comments

mikede420 0

Monday 5 December 2011 4:25

I am assuming it was to guys by the way you word it. Anyway so why is that a bad thing when your friend is getting a BJ

HeYHiTmEUp 2

Monday 5 December 2011 5:45

Girl or boy?

mastamasta 0

Monday 5 December 2011 5:47

**** blocker

ILpalmtree 0

Monday 5 December 2011 6:20

Dont **** block him.. Just keep ur eyes on the road. Ive been in the same room as my best friend while he got laid by some chick. Just dont look

YoshiXclusive 0

Monday 5 December 2011 7:26

Should of joined. Three way action, unless your a dude then never mind about that.

marlicious 0

Monday 5 December 2011 7:29

hmm. Same tthing happened to me, only I took pictures... best black male pictures of all time. and the best part is... She knows and we still laugh about it... She's my hero!!

transvestite69 4

Monday 5 December 2011 15:23

Haha well is he really your friend or? And yeah I would have drove on the curve and been like curve check.

kyrintethron 0

Monday 5 December 2011 16:50

Was his "new friend" a dude?

MJEzinga 0

Monday 5 December 2011 21:07

You should of grown some balls and asked her if she wanted to go skiing...

evaRed 0

Monday 5 December 2011 21:41

Haha! Live ****

4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Work Relatable My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 014

You deserved it 8 257

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 438

You deserved it 11 483

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 206

You deserved it 4 162

Today, while discussing difficulties in relationships, I cautiously suggested to my best friend that he may not have the healthiest way of resolving conflicts. He got angry at me for not understanding him but refused to tell where he felt misunderstood, then gave me the silent treatment. Way to prove a point, dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 105

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 2 432

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 015

You deserved it 3 185