Miscellaneous: It's a conspiracy!

It's a conspiracy!

By Robyn - 05/01/2016 08:43 - Belgium - Stokkem

Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 158

You deserved it 1 747

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Encouragement

By gretel - 16/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 003

You deserved it 4 241

By -1 Pair of Pants - 30/05/2016 19:49 - United States - Westborough

Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 747

You deserved it 2 699

By Anonymous - 13/04/2012 10:32 - United States - Singapore

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 856

You deserved it 30 267

Letting yourself go

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 142

Chubrub

By thickly - 19/09/2016 17:31 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 589

You deserved it 1 914

Pants

By Hello12355 - 07/02/2022 12:59 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I found out my trousers have actually been slowing ripping on the side, after I'd been boasting to everyone I have lost weight and that, “My trousers are literally falling off me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 394

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 04:17 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 636

That slaps!

By Kelli - 08/04/2020 02:00

Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 964

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 08:23 - Canada

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 296

You deserved it 10 871

Poor excuse

By worstwaytodumpagirl - 28/12/2013 22:34 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 029

You deserved it 3 564

Genius_Kitty 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 18:14

Tell him that his dick is too big and he needs new pants. He will believe you then.

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 5 January 2016 18:14

Tell Jabba the Gutt to stop eating like a Sarlacc, might help.

Comments

minagiv 11

Tuesday 5 January 2016 19:53

Tell him that he needs to start sewing his own pants, then.

sousaphonist 14

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:08

... tell him to buy just one pair of pants the next size up, just as a trial. He'll figure out out.

littlefoott69 14

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:09

get him a belt ..he can leave his button undone under the buckle

Bansheefaerie 9

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:21

that's when you say "sew it yourself!"

west546 13

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:27

Tell him he's a ****.

TheSulkingDead 14

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:28

Pretty sure if he said that you were gaining weight because your button kept breaking, you would go berserk.

heyLaddieHey 18

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:39

Tell him to sew his own pants.

SecundusSecunda 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:43

Tell him to become captain underpants, then. It is the only possible solution to this traitorous pants dilemma.

itsthewayitis 10

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:45

do your job right woman

bornpatriot 11

Tuesday 5 January 2016 20:49

He's lucky he's got a girlfriend that sews for him.. You tell him that

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The Top

Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 789

You deserved it 6 438

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

The Top

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 361

You deserved it 58 716

Today, I was violently sick. There was so much vomit forcing itself out that I dislocated my jaw. I continued throwing up with a dislocated jaw for an hour or so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 257

You deserved it 166

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 4 983

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 3 570

Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 434

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 257

You deserved it 54 610