Family, Weird, Relatable and Geek: It's a conspiracy!

It's a conspiracy!

By Help - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 2 982

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Top comments

allinicolesmh 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:50

Ask your leader to make you a sandwich then..

jumpshot23 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:49

Time for someone to go beyond the final frontier and get a job!

Comments

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 2 July 2013 2:44

I want to go that museum! That sounds like a cool visit! The food situation (or lack thereof) sucks, though :(

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 2 July 2013 2:46

Now I'm hungry.

rougeunicorn03 17

Friday 27 September 2013 3:34

Sounds like it's time to move out.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Tuesday 1 October 2013 15:38

child abuse. tell the state, they'll put you in a better home.

BoaNikolaos 14

Monday 22 December 2014 7:56

Just Bob n' weave

Keywords

AITA Awkward First Dates Love Cute Dogs Animals Am I overreacting? Alcohol Relatable Food Health Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Cheating Suspicious Contraception Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Gifts Birthday

The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 4 499

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 3 748

The Top

Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 252

You deserved it 11 426

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 085

You deserved it 2 957

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 962

You deserved it 7 641

Today, safety inspectors have deemed our basement unfit to serve as a bedroom due to a fire hazard. Our bed is now in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 124

You deserved it 994

Today, my boss told me not to close my office door. What am I, 12 years-old? FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 123

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 506

You deserved it 3 215