Family, Weird, Relatable and Geek: It's a conspiracy!

It's a conspiracy!

By Help - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 749

You deserved it 2 982

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Top comments

allinicolesmh 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:50

Ask your leader to make you a sandwich then..

jumpshot23 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:49

Time for someone to go beyond the final frontier and get a job!

Comments

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 2 July 2013 2:44

I want to go that museum! That sounds like a cool visit! The food situation (or lack thereof) sucks, though :(

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 2 July 2013 2:46

Now I'm hungry.

rougeunicorn03 17

Friday 27 September 2013 3:34

Sounds like it's time to move out.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Tuesday 1 October 2013 15:38

child abuse. tell the state, they'll put you in a better home.

BoaNikolaos 14

Monday 22 December 2014 7:56

Just Bob n' weave

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Parents Weekend Kids Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Pizza

The Top

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 220

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 249

You deserved it 6 635

The Top

Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 292

Today, I was let go from my internship for "not putting in enough effort". I was working 50 hours a week for almost zero pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 073

You deserved it 2 723

Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year-old male customer went into explicit detail about the "adults only" programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming, and tries out on his 70 year-old wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 007

You deserved it 6 523

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 83

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 016

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 271