Family, Weird, Relatable and Geek: It's a conspiracy! - FML

It's a conspiracy!

By Help - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 749

You deserved it 2 982

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Top comments

allinicolesmh 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:50

Ask your leader to make you a sandwich then..

jumpshot23 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:49

Time for someone to go beyond the final frontier and get a job!

Comments

Marquelle53 0

Monday 15 August 2011 3:10

Better find some alien food

smileydancer92 2

Monday 15 August 2011 3:39

wrong fml lol

Felivi 9

Monday 15 August 2011 17:50

I kind of wish I was, aliens probably know how to have a good time. Listen to #71 though and best of luck.

Imgonnahaveabf 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 4:06

NBD.

crashley21 10

Tuesday 16 August 2011 22:21

It sucks that they think that and you have to put up with it, but maybe you should get a job? Quit complaining you're hungry when you buy your own food. And it'll get you time away from them.

Devyn333 16

Friday 19 August 2011 6:59

Ugh bad grammar

ChelseaGrin112 14

Sunday 22 April 2012 16:24

I bet you Katy Perry's jealous of them.

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 13 May 2012 18:07

Dress up as an alien and scare them!

Fmlano 16

Sunday 18 November 2012 1:11

Is your last name by any chance 'Tyler'?

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 2 July 2013 2:40

I have a feeling your parents met at a ScyFi convention.

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Weekend Parents Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 540

You deserved it 5 077

Today, a waitress kept calling me "Mom" and my dad "Dad". My dad (69) and I (38f) hang out a lot, and very often go out to eat, just the two of us. Either I look really old, or people think he's got it going on. Why? They ask me, "Is that your dad or grandpa?" Then ask him, "Is that your wife or daughter?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 817

You deserved it 7 486

Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 2 351

Today, my 17-year-old, clinically depressed son was having terrible anxiety about the first day of school tomorrow. I tried to be a good parent, so I took the day off to console him. That proved to be a bad idea, because apparently, putting your son's mental health first is a valid reason for your boss to fire you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 213

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, my nose hair scares him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 529

You deserved it 13 810

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 510

You deserved it 2 687

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 861

You deserved it 15 648