Family, Weird, Relatable and Geek: It's a conspiracy! - FML

It's a conspiracy!

By Help - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 749

You deserved it 2 982

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Top comments

allinicolesmh 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:50

Ask your leader to make you a sandwich then..

jumpshot23 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:49

Time for someone to go beyond the final frontier and get a job!

Comments

OakChair 14

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:03

"I'm hungry"? I don't get how that's relevant.

SherryA 15

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:13

Obviously its relevant because the OP is hungry but the parents spend all their money on seeing aliens in museums.

skyttlz 32

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:13

32- it's because OP's parents aren't buying food and they're wasting money on stupid stuff.

badactor009 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:50

Family... I didn't get to pick mine either.

jedielf 23

Sunday 14 August 2011 11:54

Keep a note of the shit your parents say and do. It would make some great bar stories, I'm sure.

DarkoDe14 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 12:21

Call Child Protective Services.

heyred 11

Sunday 14 August 2011 12:22

Anal probe!

facilitator 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 17:14

You're picture works perfectly

mastersmurf 13

Sunday 14 August 2011 14:31

Your family has more issues than most.

ImmaB3AST 7

Sunday 14 August 2011 14:39

They have these pornos on HBO called The Alien Sex Files where hot alien girls would seduce guys and girls and take over the world.... Sexually. Were the stars of that show there? :D

gymnstemily92 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 15:22

You HAVE to be kidding

iMagzzzy 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 16:46

This fml is retarded.

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Weekend Parents Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 150

Today, I started my day with terrible food poisoning and ending my day alone, with a boyfriend in jail. We've had one short conversation since he was arrested. My birthday is in three days, and we have no idea if he will be released in time because of the system working slowly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 419

The Top

Today, I was on the couch watching Dr. Phil. My cat walked in, took one look at the screen, and immediately backed up into the coffee table in front of me and sprayed with all of his might. Not only was the table hit, but so was I. I guess he’s not a huge fan of Dr. Phil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 307

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 737

You deserved it 13 774

Today, after six months of eating a better diet and exercising every other day, I can now say that I am physically healthier, but the lifestyle changes have done absolutely nothing to help my depression. That was the whole reason I started doing this in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 120

Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 130

You deserved it 1 539

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 763

You deserved it 40 322

Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 179