Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think…

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 997

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

eiji_chan 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:45

I had to reread this one a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I wasn't. FYL

lemonkeith 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:48

fml i have to deal with this nasty post

lieuwkill1 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:50

whahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

prttyyngthng 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:51

Hey, you killed two birds with one stone: You showed your dog who's boss AND you got to hump your best friend. Way to go!

sophiepento 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:52

WHY THE **** DID YOU HUMP YOUR DOG BACK, ARE YOU RETARTED!?

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Wednesday 23 June 2010 13:43

the reason is right there in the fml you stupid ****

carlover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:57

LOL you are ******* hilarious

stonerchu 0

Monday 18 May 2009 10:59

@13 We call it inter-species erotica

Diagon_Blix 0

Friday 19 June 2009 2:25

lol

Weezie 0

Monday 18 May 2009 11:13

hilarious... but wtf dude...

GlobeNinja 0

Monday 18 May 2009 11:16

oh snap! b-u-s-t-e-d

Emma_91 0

Monday 18 May 2009 11:17

LOL. I wanna know what your mom said.

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The Top

Today, my mother-in-law "borrowed" my dog without asking, to show him off to her friends. My dog is my service animal, and I'm not comfortable leaving the house without him. I have to be at work in an hour, and she's not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 272

You deserved it 445

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 567

You deserved it 2 217

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 735

You deserved it 4 864

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 38 680

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 032

You deserved it 3 582

Today, after spending a great day with my nieces, I turned to my husband to ask him if maybe we should start trying to get pregnant like we both agreed we wanted to multiple times. Before the words even left my mouth he said, “God they were exhausting, thank God were not having kids.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 247

Today, I volunteered to babysit my nephew. He somehow managed to lock himself in the bathroom and then flood it with the sink. I had to call his parents, and they're now on their way home from their romantic anniversary dinner. I'm not even getting paid for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 211