Transportation, Cars, Awkward and Cops: It's sus to us

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 436

You deserved it 4 496

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Same thing different taste

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 403

You deserved it 2 849

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 2 893

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 720

You deserved it 3 950

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 249

You deserved it 1 256

BIKES?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 6 307

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 4 227

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 625

You deserved it 3 772

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 741

You deserved it 1 885

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 862

You deserved it 30 067

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 291

gurding 15

Friday 12 July 2013 11:50

Did they at least give you directions?

CrookedCook 14

Friday 12 July 2013 11:51

Seems like a blessing in disguise to me.

Comments

Peeves_fml 17

Friday 12 July 2013 12:10

Too bad you weren't in Mr. Roger's neighborhood. He'd be a lot more friendly.

rg350dx 29

Friday 12 July 2013 12:34

"I'll say this once Lawrence, I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van and get the **** outta my neighborhood"

BlissfulLiss 18

Friday 12 July 2013 12:11

You could have just knocked on one of the doors and asked for directions. I wonder what would have became of you had the cops not been called...

naxeeb 33

Friday 12 July 2013 12:18

Why not use GPS or maps? Or even stopping by some place and asking for directions? Would've made the situation easier :/

Smoldering 15

Friday 12 July 2013 16:38

There are blank spots on GPS you know, so it doesn't always work.

Risho96 10

Saturday 13 July 2013 18:08

Not to mention that not everyone even has a GPS or a smart phone.

buckdharma 37

Friday 12 July 2013 12:22

Someone called the po po on op. Someone called the po po , I know. Someone called the po po on op. He got a ticket for not knowing where to go.

angelitared 27

Friday 12 July 2013 12:27

Sure you were lost. Creeper!!!

SuperDanielNL 23

Friday 12 July 2013 12:38

Paranoia, Paranoia everywere... They would probably have shot you if you knocked at the door for directions.

nightbirdblue 27

Saturday 13 July 2013 20:21

Or taken their suicide pills to prevent you from doing heinous things to them.

rachaelward 19

Friday 12 July 2013 12:40

Wow someone was a little paranoid haha

Wakachulak 22

Friday 12 July 2013 12:47

Way to honor the guy code OP, respect! Directions are for *******!

websphere69 27

Friday 12 July 2013 12:50

I do hope they gave you directions at least, but not sure why the cops would care....

thatnucca 36

Friday 12 July 2013 13:25

Where I'm from, someone would stop you and ask if you needed help, and not call the cops out of paranoia... I partially blame the media though...

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 329

You deserved it 6 125

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 783

You deserved it 2 422

The Top

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 890

You deserved it 26 657

Today, I discovered that my state is passing a bill regulating cow "emissions". Basically, we need to regulate cow farts. I live in a farming town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 526

You deserved it 1 238

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I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 256

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 348

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 222

You deserved it 4 812

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 737

You deserved it 2 539

Same thing different taste

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