First Dates and Love: Jah Rule

Jah Rule

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 429

You deserved it 8 250

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By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 144

You deserved it 7 788

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 2 796

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 04:59 - United States - West Covina

Today, I went on a blind date. My date spent the whole time at the restaurant on his phone and didn't even try to show interest. Thankfully I'll never have to deal with this individual ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 142

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 154

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 31 749

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 75

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 939

You deserved it 3 240

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 2 653

Tonight, on Blind Dates…

By dateless - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 526

You deserved it 2 445

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 517

You deserved it 3 372

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 April 2014 21:27

He probably had a pair of socks stuffed down his trousers.

TaiReiSi 12

Sunday 27 April 2014 21:28

Well did you stuff your bra?

Comments

1known 30

Tuesday 30 July 2024 19:24

And some guys wonder why they stay single.

great_nate 26

Wednesday 7 August 2024 6:13

You stayed for the lecture???

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 44 804

Today, after five years of working a soul-sucking dead end job, I was offered an amazing role in a new field. When the HR rep told me, I was so excited that I screamed at the top of my lungs, cheered like a maniac, and started laughing so hard I cried.I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm off my meds now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 444

The Top

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 579

You deserved it 3 765

I agree, your life sucks 66 777

You deserved it 4 716

Today, I saw our boss, visiting from the USA, press the button on the coffee machine, probably thinking a cup will drop automatically. I grab a cup in the cupboard and put it under the now pouring coffee. Next thing I knew, I'm lying on the floor, my boss's bodyguard on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 196

You deserved it 1 377

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 424

You deserved it 4 086

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 602

You deserved it 5 530

Today, I got a new employee. She was putting photos on her desk and I noticed a familiar face. When I asked who he was to her, she said, “My husband.” I had been dating this guy for the past three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 636

You deserved it 517