Love, Relatable, Awkward and Argument: Jerk

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 128

You deserved it 3 544

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 402

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 818

You deserved it 3 863

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 802

You deserved it 3 047

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 180

Old habits die hard

By atsukobo - 10/03/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 674

You deserved it 4 831

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 368

You deserved it 24 017

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 274

Explain this

By Jenny - 16/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 89

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 3 299

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 135

Jasim 17

Saturday 14 February 2015 8:15

A man remembers an argument? That's a first.

ihartmytdi 23

Saturday 14 February 2015 8:06

I just hate it when I get the uncontrollable urge to bag someone in the boys

Comments

makkarari 18

Saturday 14 February 2015 11:06

I flop like a fish every night with those twitches! lol, I think maybe a BJ or something should pacify him and be a suitable apology!

pedinhuh 23

Saturday 14 February 2015 21:37

I like the way you think, girl

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Saturday 14 February 2015 12:44

Marriage sounds like fun hahaha

dawood_k 27

Saturday 14 February 2015 13:09

Sure we believe you.

token_blackguy 18

Saturday 14 February 2015 14:55

Should have offered to kiss the boo-boo and make him feel better.

vikky538 28

Saturday 14 February 2015 15:20

one question ...who is the wife in your family...

kstizzle_504 8

Saturday 14 February 2015 16:32

"How graceful"

wellxohxwell 12

Saturday 14 February 2015 18:17

he'll get over it. it was an accident after all. :)

mrmcleod 29

Saturday 14 February 2015 18:27

I have leg spasms all the time! I'm sorry OP, that shit is real, I hope he believes you!

PopcornTimes 14

Saturday 14 February 2015 18:53

I read five years at first...

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 14 February 2015 21:47

If you were still angry about some argument from five days ago, why would you have been cuddling with him? Though in fairness he probably wasn't thinking so clearly at that moment.