Sex, Religion and Intimacy: Jesus wept

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 342

You deserved it 7 042

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Same thing different taste

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 150

By churchgoer - 20/03/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 660

You deserved it 9 576

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 4 135

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 988

You deserved it 2 119

By petmosch - 04/08/2017 00:30

Today, I came up with the idea of pranking my girlfriend by telling her that I knew she was cheating on me. She then apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 273

You deserved it 2 444

By OopsKid - 30/05/2011 18:14 - France

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 312

You deserved it 16 543

ionelementz112 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 21:48

You should have said, "I forgive you."

Adam_B 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 11:45

FML = F*** My Life FML = Forgive Me Lord Coincidence...?

Comments

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 6:49

How did that ruin your life? I mean, religion obviously ****** her life up, but yours? Get over it.

rowergirl 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:58

hahahahaha

bballboy91 0

Friday 9 October 2009 3:10

Damn thats hot, strait out of a porno!

conartist66 0

Monday 19 October 2009 7:07

FML? thats awesome, hot, and hilarious. PLUS u got her to cum, this is a total WIN!

ilcmj_fml 2

Wednesday 23 December 2009 7:30

oh shit oh shit I laughed so hard at this FYL

my_username2313 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 9:07

ROFL!!!!

sofiaslife 0

Monday 11 January 2010 19:00

well if you guys arent married i can see why shed say that

notdeadbutnearly 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 12:52

wow, thats actually epic. :-D

kekelala3 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 4:06

How is this an FML for you? She did the wrong thing and sinned and is trying to make it better and your saying FML? MNS.

yonico_fml 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 8:03

that's a WIN..

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 147

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I finally had the guts to tell my mom about her boyfriend hitting on me. Not only did she not care, but she got mad at me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 786

You deserved it 488

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 641

You deserved it 2 803

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 2 947

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 864

You deserved it 4 377

Today, my wife told me that I was a 5 on the scale of how well I flirted and romanced her, and that the guy before me was a 9. This was at the kitchen table in front of our kids. They thought it was hilarious, and told me I shouldn’t bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 197

Today, my daughter's new boyfriend must be clinically insane, as he accused me of being a secret Russian supporter because my name is Joseph, which is also the first name of Joseph Stalin. He was completely serious and refuses to be around me in case I’m memorising his pro-Ukraine talk FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 88

Jesus wept

Same thing different taste

So happy together…

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