Weddings, Awkward and Love: Just in case

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 11 579

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 639

You deserved it 12 266

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 689

You deserved it 10 788

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 804

You deserved it 20 455

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 02:39 - United States - Baraboo

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 593

You deserved it 5 540

By baconbreath=| - 13/11/2010 05:12 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 087

You deserved it 9 630

Love is in the air

By Rydia - 31/10/2020 05:01

Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 197

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 47 340

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 912

You deserved it 38 049

Childlike

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 20:01

Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 521

By cjk004 - 15/02/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 6 625

Dogmaw 0

Monday 1 June 2009 16:01

Are you sure he wasn't going for that "peppermint BJ" action? I mean, either you need those mints or you don't.

moony_fml 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

lol #1 What can i say...very smooth fiancee

Comments

summer24 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 14:19

It's not that bad

bosshaug 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:54

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Jdeluxh 12

Thursday 4 June 2009 8:18

U deserved that one. I can smell u from here.

lancers15 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:26

Wow ur husband is a doucher have fun living your life with him !

KillaKellaz 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 21:57

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA

rakhil11 7

Saturday 13 June 2009 5:51

i'm 12 and i realize it's 4 a *******....

pyros09 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 12:21

And that's something to be proud of?

chapinitachic 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 21:01

Definitely for a bj. no need to worry.

Charlieeeeeeeeee 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 14:35

Haha lol Just take it as a joke jeez I hate these FMLs just overreacting

HyperExecuter 0

Monday 14 December 2009 7:27

#91, shut thefuck up u little 12 year old. u dint know shit so stop being a bitch

browniie_fml 3

Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:36

Use your creativity ? :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 783

You deserved it 2 422

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I had to borrow my mom’s car to jump-start my battery-dead car. I got everything set up and it worked. Parked my mom’s car back into her spot, went into my car. And turned it off. Now I have to do it all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 932

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 908

You deserved it 2 294

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 682

Today, my mother scolded me for undressing my son and giving him Tylenol to break his fever. She insisted I wrap him in several layers to increase his body temperature in order to let him "sweat the fever out." I’m married to a pediatrician. My mom didn’t finish high school. She swears we're wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 163

Today, I found out my parents never naturalized me. I'm adopted from a country I've never been to, and now I could be deported there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 018

You deserved it 599

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 12 627