Weddings, Awkward and Love: Just in case

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 11 578

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 639

You deserved it 12 266

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 688

You deserved it 10 788

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 804

You deserved it 20 455

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 02:39 - United States - Baraboo

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 592

You deserved it 5 540

By baconbreath=| - 13/11/2010 05:12 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 9 630

Love is in the air

By Rydia - 31/10/2020 05:01

Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 196

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 47 339

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 910

You deserved it 38 047

Childlike

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 20:01

Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 521

By cjk004 - 15/02/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 6 623

Dogmaw 0

Monday 1 June 2009 16:01

Are you sure he wasn't going for that "peppermint BJ" action? I mean, either you need those mints or you don't.

moony_fml 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

lol #1 What can i say...very smooth fiancee

Comments

boarderking 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 8:06

What a romantic thing to say....

stanfrdpenguin13 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 8:51

Tell him the sex sucks and that he should use tell mints fir third base

vrabeled 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 9:03

Don't be scared of a toothbrush!!

Asdas_fml 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 9:23

#58 you could've said that in few sentences, no need for wall of text like that.

Zoomuck 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 10:13

At least he let you know in a nice way

angrymole 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 11:42

don't take it so personally.

grifontae 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:17

A not so suble hint

SlyCooper601 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 17:00

Seems like he was tryna help YOU out.. Don't hate him for that LOL

danielleFML 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 17:18

********... get over it

dmmd8686 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:15

Take the hint. Learn from this.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 3 982

The Top

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 660

You deserved it 9 997

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 617

Today, my girlfriend asked how I was feeling, because I’ve been feeling down and experiencing a lot of anxiety lately. I said was feeling a lot better and that I finally think I’m on my way to getting well. She didn't agree, and started a fight about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 205

Today, I met one of our donors at a company gala. One guy said he was from Trinidad. He had an accent, so I told him that his English sounded great for someone from a foreign country. He then told me that English is the official language in Trinidad. Don’t think we’re getting funds anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 429

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 3 820

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 727