Fire, Scary and Miscellaneous: Keep cool

Sounds like a reasonable way to start a phone call bringing bad news. But of course the FML is your house burning. Hope the damage wasn't too bad, OP.

MagicMike1496 6

Tuesday 13 August 2013 19:25

Was your house really on fire?

lwonderful 11

Tuesday 13 August 2013 19:44

I don't get how this is an FML? We need a follow up! We're you in your house? We're you not? Did you know the person? We don't have enough info OP

MisterMuffinz 13

Tuesday 13 August 2013 20:08

...Well was it actually on fire?

venom2421 10

Tuesday 13 August 2013 20:33

My house is on fire, better post an FML while I'm here.

Xotoolyxo 16

Tuesday 13 August 2013 22:40

At least it wasn't a phone call like in the scream movies

ghil15 8

Wednesday 14 August 2013 3:10

now stay calm and call batman lol

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The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 649

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

The Top

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 205

Today, my best friend and my brother are in love. I've been her friend for 10 years, and she’s an absolutely horny whore. She treats me like shit 25/8 now. If I hadn't become friends with her, they wouldn’t have met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 271

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 2 025

Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 124

You deserved it 364

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 1 512

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 460

You deserved it 134 336