Intimacy: Keep it down

Keep it down

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 024

You deserved it 8 495

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Same thing different taste

By TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 113

You deserved it 3 004

By AirOne - 12/11/2008 14:39 - United States

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 678

You deserved it 10 829

Bitches, amirite?

By Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 09:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 292

By Barking Mad - 04/08/2013 11:21 - Australia - Revesby

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 918

You deserved it 7 711

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 564

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 126

You deserved it 3 821

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 307

You deserved it 5 911

Good night, sleep tight

By sleepy - 01/07/2019 02:10

Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 201

Quiet

By Deborah - 27/10/2011 06:41 - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 850

You deserved it 40 534

Yappy neighborhood

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 14:00

Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 379

JasonUMN 15

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:28

You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

syki 22

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:26

May I suggest a muzzle?

Comments

Kateyez_26 13

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:34

Does she catch your balls in her mouth too?

mercrover 10

Saturday 11 January 2014 9:12

Do you like taking balls to your face?

October3461 12

Saturday 11 January 2014 9:39

do you like being a douchebag?

valentinov 15

Saturday 11 January 2014 16:38

I would have expected this comment from a boy... But coming from a girl it sounds way too hot to ignore it!

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:37

at least she makes noise.

4funzies 13

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:41

At least she's having a good time. Pffft, who cares what they think!

karlcolt45 19

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:42

would meowing be better?

JMichael 25

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:47

Don't let anyone tell you you can't please you dog, I mean woman!

brandoneyez1 25

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:52

She a freak in the sheets?

browneyedshortie 4

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:54

May I suggest using a pillow to muffle the sounds?? I would be so self conscious about making those sounds!! How does that even make it seem like your feeling pleasure??

SammyS2012 21

Saturday 11 January 2014 6:30

At first i thought you meant for the pillow to smother her o.O I thought your comment was going in a different direction

October3461 12

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:01

well sex is amazing and the noises or sounds you make are hard to control especially if you're having an ****** and especially the faces made during the process.