Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Kiss from a rose

Kiss from a rose

By sealy - 28/12/2010 07:44 - United States

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 077

You deserved it 7 872

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By crier - 27/08/2013 18:34 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 612

You deserved it 12 461

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 098

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 5 188

By Ugh - 13/09/2015 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 387

You deserved it 5 899

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 195

You deserved it 5 870

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 261

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 567

You deserved it 3 646

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 4 483

Breaking

By Kev - 23/08/2023 06:00 - Ireland

Today, I was giving a presentation when my voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. The audience giggled every time it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 74

By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 38 512

xFalzz 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:12

Oh yeah, yeah, yeaaaa- ARF ARF ARF ARF *begins to clap hands violently*

BelleElle_fml 5

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:51

Did anyone else reinact this in their heads?

Comments

BigBagel 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:26

that's you cue to go trip and die

nikki9tails 3

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:27

i seriously cant picture anyone doing that LOL how does that happent?

BloodyHeel 8

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:39

Sounds very arousing.

oliver86 8

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:40

is that what the walrus said

alwa7sh 2

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:42

Seal style sex is the best, your a winner OP

brownlace 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:56

do better!!! lmao

Catiie9595 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:56

oh dear

Keyman1212 14

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:01

At least you're able to seal the deal... Eh, ehhh?

oliver86 8

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:05

fistnazal 10

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:47

noooo-- yeeeeeeess man, works everytime!

kate177 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 15:18

Hahahahaha:))) that's soo funny!

RachelBerry_fml 5

Wednesday 29 December 2010 3:30

very punny =3D

gabsta 3

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:04

ooh sexy

Skroal_stomper 5

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:11

Why care as long as you are getting off. If your man can give you the big O than all is well. Hell the sounds most likely help him get off.

lalalalalalalala_fml 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 19:56

lol!

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 296

You deserved it 1 134

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 540

You deserved it 32 580

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said, "I'm going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 958

You deserved it 9 252

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 108

Today, I walked out of a date after he told me feminism is "ruining society" and tried to convince me, with articles he had saved on his phone, that the female orgasm isn’t real like a man’s is FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 226

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 099

You deserved it 2 872

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 2 595