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By dummy - 11/07/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 626

You deserved it 58 166

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Same thing different taste

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 382

You deserved it 13 440

Superheroes Finger Family Song Johny Johny Yes Papa Nursery Rhymes Giant Syringe

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 521

Don't yuck his yum

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 119

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 00:24 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 421

Pecking order of shame

By We're men! We don't grow up, we just grow old. - 24/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 970

Let him cook

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Woburn

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 398

You deserved it 5 286

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 039

You deserved it 5 432

Get me out of here!

By There there dear - 09/04/2025 12:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I hired a babysitter for my two kids for the evening. When I came home, I found her sitting on the floor, crying with a full bowl of popcorn, watching a kids' movie. Apparently, my six-year-old had decided to re-enact every scene from the movie, and she couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hug her and assure her that she was doing a great job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 124

Classic

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 1 897

By ....... - 23/06/2009 17:56 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 258 928

You deserved it 42 817

stinewd 9

Tuesday 12 July 2011 1:08

you're gonna be a cool parent!

crotchpheasant 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 1:11

I'm dr roxxo the rock and roll clown! I do c-c-c-cocaine! let's go get some ice c-c-c-cream and hookersss! yeahhh! this is what that kid got to hear.let's hope he doesnt ask for a hooker next time they take him for ice cream hahaha

Comments

SOD_sonofdixie 5

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:28

well now he's a cultured 5 yr old..

sadistmonkey 19

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:39

Even if you've never heard of Metalocalypse, wouldn't the name "Metalocalpyse" clue you in that perhaps it isn't a kid's show?

NathanV_fml 2

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:48

Dethklok ftw!

Link33_fml 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 20:49

You are dumber than a box of retarded hammers.

CSRozell 4

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:03

I'm Rocks-O the clown I do c-c-c-cocaine!

ospeltz 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:04

your a fool. I can tell that's not child appropriate from the name

IAmOtter 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:09

lol I love dr. Rockzo!!

Enforcer 7

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:11

so you figured something titled "Metalocalypse" was ok for a 5 year old to watch based on the fact is was cartoon. you really are stupid

musikid 1

Tuesday 12 July 2011 21:12

Moron... even if you didn't know what the cartoon was about specifically, how does the name Metalocalypse seem like an appropriate cartoon for a kid? That being said, it is a freakin' awesome show.