Cars, Accident and Health: Less haste, more speed

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Less haste, more speed

By Ouch - 20/05/2012 04:06 - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 26 789

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Same thing different taste

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 372

You deserved it 7 911

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 310

You deserved it 285 222

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 460

You deserved it 14 440

Open door policy

By Luke Sparacio - 24/11/2023 00:00

Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 204

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 2 197

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 2 950

Fiat 500 woes

By Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 125

By tracelee - 03/03/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 535

You deserved it 13 248

By fudgydiaper22 - 30/01/2011 00:28 - United States

Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 157

You deserved it 5 147

Bad idea

By Anonymous - 19/04/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was on a friend's trampoline trying to convince my mom that trampolines are safe and we should get one. While telling her, I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 470

You deserved it 35 055

awesome8021 3

Sunday 20 May 2012 11:53

So who won?

Ravena1213 0

Sunday 20 May 2012 11:53

I imagined this in cartoon form

Comments

wtflawl 3

Sunday 20 May 2012 13:33

I'm gonna take a wild stab and say u lost? Lol

I_Punch_Babies 7

Sunday 20 May 2012 13:49

i wouldnt jump to solutions there :D

doctorhook86 24

Sunday 20 May 2012 14:21

The world is not your jungle gym, OP.

Purplefluff 6

Sunday 20 May 2012 21:04

Oh for me it is.....

reddudeover 2

Sunday 20 May 2012 14:27

Don't lie this was another attempted escape from the asylum.

ICastillo 24

Sunday 20 May 2012 15:17

Hey maybe you and your mom can share a room. That would be cool.

quontag 15

Sunday 20 May 2012 16:04

Is it really that hard to beat your dad? Whatever happened to running?

AudioBoss 12

Sunday 20 May 2012 22:22

He took the stairs, I ran around the parking structure.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Sunday 20 May 2012 16:46

Look, I know you're broken up over MCA's recent death, but there's no need to go recreating the video for "Sabotage".

diegoer 10

Sunday 20 May 2012 16:49

Im sure it was hilarious to see from a distance :D

trucker67 10

Sunday 20 May 2012 17:32

Now the nickname "Splat" really does work for you .

dtemple1110 6

Sunday 20 May 2012 18:18

Well... if my mother was sick in the hospital, I certainly wouldn't be hyped up enough to have a race with my dad but... to each his own.

mightymart 5

Monday 21 May 2012 7:55

I was thinking the same thing.. What the hell

AudioBoss 12

Tuesday 22 May 2012 6:10

She's got Kidney Stones. So she'll be fine

Pancakemines 0

Sunday 20 May 2012 18:29

OP: "See you soon mom bye" *OP and his dad arrive in the parking lot* OP: Hey dad, I'll race you to the car. OP's Dad: Alright then. Ready aaaannnd...Go. *10 seconds later* OP: Mom I'm back.