Work: Let him cook

Let him cook

By last literate - 27/10/2011 16:15 - Canada

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 373

You deserved it 2 740

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Same thing different taste

By fird - 25/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 067

You deserved it 305

By mrmarshall - 17/05/2019 05:44

Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss pulled me into his office and gave me a write-up for quitting, told me that he knows where I live, and that I'd better be at work tomorrow or he's going to come and drag me into work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 203

By Sam - 30/10/2008 14:51 - Canada

Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 219

You deserved it 30 791

I don't wanna…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 06:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 872

You deserved it 1 707

Make your mind up

By Jason Brazil - 13/08/2019 14:00

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 462

By ksa - 04/08/2015 19:06 - Poland - Katowice

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 318

You deserved it 3 039

By fucked - 06/02/2015 08:06 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 029

You deserved it 40 562

By Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 3 522

By robert - 31/01/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 470

You deserved it 4 222

Good omens, etc.

By scoold - 21/12/2014 22:02 - United States - Dover

Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 724

You deserved it 2 972

Streeet_hayley 6

Thursday 27 October 2011 18:31

He wants to eat you...no mistake.

InfinityCross 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 18:35

Neither. Get him a dictionary

Comments

gameplaya2023 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 19:31

probably just wants to get you mad

loserman67 35

Thursday 27 October 2011 19:31

Well, you didn't indicate your gender so: If your female, maybe he's planning on sticking his "skewer" in you and watching you "rotate" on it until your brains are fried... If your male, maybe he wants to get your "sausage" all hot and have you slip it in his "oven"... so, either the boss is really a bi-sexual, or he's stupid and just cannot spell. Anyone's guess

mnmolino 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 21:26

Neither of those two options involve frying..... You need to review your culinary arts....

NEEPLES 7

Thursday 27 October 2011 21:41

Seriously. Sexual jokes are just starting to get annoying. If you think you're funny then actually post something that required more than 6 seconds to think up.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 27 October 2011 19:40

Be like that guy I saw on the news that brought in a huge marching band to his office to quit. Oh to dream.....(:

nivek2120 8

Thursday 27 October 2011 19:43

Maybe he just wants to smoke some weed with you.

hipposmoke 2

Thursday 27 October 2011 20:03

**** #47 i was about to say that. OP just show the email to someone higher up and accuse your boss of trying to drug you. Then when they fire your boss, smoke him up to show no hard feelings :D

SummerFever 8

Thursday 27 October 2011 23:38

Wouldn't it say 'baked' then?

matt0794 1

Friday 28 October 2011 4:04

"Baked" and "fried" both mean generally the same thing.

matt0794 1

Friday 28 October 2011 4:04

"Baked" and "fried" both mean generally the same thing.

Flanny_fml 4

Thursday 27 October 2011 20:30

You should just hand in your resignation with a bottle of BBQ sauce.

Mysexyfaith 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 20:30

Wait for him to fire you and them collect unemployment!

sebvissers 6

Thursday 27 October 2011 21:09

yeah or they could not be a lefty and get a real job instead of leeching off the country

perdix 29

Thursday 27 October 2011 20:55

For frying, you'll need flour, peanut oil, raw shrimp and ketchup. Pour the oil all over his carpet, then coated it with flour and write "I Quit" in ketchup. Put the raw shrimp in the seat tube of his chair. Ps, don't ask this guy for a reference.

TipOfTheHat 10

Thursday 27 October 2011 20:56

Actually, I would have made a copy of the letter. Then I would have approached my boss and said this will be illegal dismissal! "Here's what we are going to do, I will collect six months severance, and I won't lawyer up!"

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 27 October 2011 21:20

Why would it be illegal for the boss to elaborately plan to get him fired? If I were the boss I would just flat out fire him if I desired. I'm not sure of the significance of making a scheme out of it, unless the boss has higher-ups he needs to answer to and can't actually fire him.

Razzed 4

Thursday 27 October 2011 23:28

Because we have laws in this country that prevent people from firing you for no reason. That means you can't legally be fired without just cause. If you show up for work, and you do the job you were hired for, they have no justification for firing you. If they do want to fire you, they have to show that they've made attempts to address the issues they have with you before they can go through with the dismissal. Of course, if the OPs attitude comes through at work the same way it does on this FML I can understand why the boss would want to fire him.

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 31 October 2011 9:06

First off, the submission is from Canada, not the U.S. I'm assuming you are referring to the U.S. but if you are referring to Canadian laws then I have no say in this. As far as a reason for firing someone, disliking them counts as valid to me. Perhaps it's because I have a biased perspective, but I could list plenty of reasons why disliking one of my workers would interfere with the quality of my work, etc. I'd just fire them, anyhow. If you start a business from the ground up you ought to not be dictated on who you're forced to pay. Your business, your rules. That's why you don't piss off your boss, since he's in charge. Just my thoughts influenced by a proprietor.