Health, Healthy Lifestyle and Family: Life hacks

Life hacks

By just walk away - 07/04/2022 01:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 107

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By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 00:00

Today, my wife keeps bitching at me that she hasn’t lost any weight on her liquid diet, even though I’ve told her dozens of times that sticking all her normal large portion meals in a blender isn’t exactly a proper liquid diet, it’s just a very unhealthy soup with lumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 109

By technical - 31/03/2015 02:50 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 983

You deserved it 2 379

By aineroo - 05/11/2014 21:25 - Ireland - Galway

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 649

You deserved it 3 919

One of those people

By Vercsi - 19/02/2015 15:47 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 2 762

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 14:00

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 346

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 03:50 - United States - La Grange

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 563

You deserved it 16 662

By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 09/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 760

You deserved it 7 908

Dietitian is the recognized title

By fatty mcfatfuck - 24/06/2020 02:02

Today, I caught my mother-in-law filling my one-year-old's cup with Dr. Pepper. When I flipped out, she told me I was overreacting since "all her kids turned out fine." Save for my husband, all her kids are morbidly obese diabetics who’ve struggled with poor diets. She herself is almost 450 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 178

By Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 406

You deserved it 147 125

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 10:00

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 1 724

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 7 April 2022 12:08

She's not stupid -- she's engaging in willful ignorance. She's trying to create a loophole by thinking she's following the "liquid" requirement literally.

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 7 April 2022 20:45

Exactly. And willfully ignorant people piss me off the most. Like, you obviously know what you’re doing. Do you think pretending it’s fine means the universe will erase all potential consequences from happening to you? OP’s SIL could throw up and die on the operating table from this stupid shit. But... At least she’ll have had her cake and eaten it two?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 7 April 2022 12:08

She's not stupid -- she's engaging in willful ignorance. She's trying to create a loophole by thinking she's following the "liquid" requirement literally.

poopface82 19

Thursday 7 April 2022 13:44

That’s a lot of words for “she’s being a shit.”

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 7 April 2022 20:45

Jon Tessler 14

Thursday 7 April 2022 16:28

I blame the doctor or his nurse for not explaining exactly what a clear liquid diet entails.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 7 April 2022 22:43

Why blame the medical staff, it's not their fault for her ignorance and coming from a medical background it's policy everywhere too thoroughly explain exactly what a clear liquid diet is this woman's just being a stupid ass.

diraven 15

Saturday 9 April 2022 8:57

I've had a colonoscopy too. If the doctor gets in there and finds out she didn't do the cleanse right they'll send her home to start the whole thing all over again. So she'll learn the hard way.