Light 'em up, boys

By Clogged - 25/11/2020 17:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 184

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Same thing different taste

By Hopslammer - 17/06/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 49 060

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 5 724

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 17 354

The urge

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 05:02

Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 205

Muscle memory

By Namnack - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 038

You deserved it 32 922

By zaneey - 17/01/2009 18:41 - Australia

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 673

You deserved it 42 752

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 41 941

By Username - 03/08/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 813

You deserved it 51 991

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 926

You deserved it 54 303

The Marlboro Man

By Victoria - 19/10/2022 18:00

Today, I'm trying to quit smoking because I'm actually running low on money. I just realized that I'm actually spending a lot more money and gaining more weight by eating junk food to relieve my anxiety than what I used to spend buying packs of cigarettes. I can't afford a psychologist, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 251

FerociousCookie 12

Wednesday 25 November 2020 11:51

Laxatives and/or more fibre in your diet help with that. I go through the same thing any time I stop drinking for a while.

Snailfarts 27

Wednesday 25 November 2020 19:50

just have some prunes, my dude

Comments

thefmlman2011 36

Wednesday 25 November 2020 8:11

Damn, what a crappy situation

Ambrily 27

Wednesday 25 November 2020 20:09

Un-crappy*

FerociousCookie 12

Wednesday 25 November 2020 11:51

Laxatives and/or more fibre in your diet help with that. I go through the same thing any time I stop drinking for a while.

phybreawptic 13

Wednesday 25 November 2020 12:14

Magnesium citrate will fix that right up

Sady_Ct 37

Wednesday 25 November 2020 13:35

I quote smoking a week ago too! And I’m also from Queensland! Try vaping! Soo much better. You will have to order your nicotine in but Axel from Super Vape Store will help you right out!

Brendan Schnopp 7

Thursday 26 November 2020 1:27

definition of shit advice

xxlk4xx 6

Wednesday 25 November 2020 15:59

coffee and vaping! and it tastes better too!

Snailfarts 27

Wednesday 25 November 2020 19:50

just have some prunes, my dude

coius 23

Wednesday 25 November 2020 21:53

Be glad you aren’t on my pain killers. Those make my digestive system go backwards. Imagine no matter how much fiber you take, or laxatives consumed, you still can’t crap without it looking like a bloody murderfest from the strain and push required to evacuate a 747 Max out of your colon.

Dylan Borg 12

Friday 27 November 2020 16:16

just drink a litre of water and take 2-3 coffees back-to-back in the morning. You will explode like a volcano. Also, once you are so stuck, one poop leads to the next, and the next.. happy ********!